Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen Admits To Eating Magic Mushrooms In China

On Monday Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen revealed that she tried a new delicacy while attending a group dinner during her recent visit to China — a bunch of magic mushrooms.

“There was a delicious mushroom dish. I was not aware that these mushrooms had hallucinogenic properties. I learned that later,” recalled Yellen, 77.

Now, before you petition for the economist to change her name to Janet Trippin’, she claimed her mushy-filled meal didn’t lead to visions of dancing dollar bills and color-changing treasury bonds, telling CNN’s Erin Burnette, “I read that if the mushrooms are cooked properly, which I’m sure they were at this very good restaurant, that they have no impact.”

But even though she may not have gotten high, Yellen said the meal was still one for the books. “All of us enjoyed the mushrooms, the restaurant, and none of us felt any ill effects from having eaten them,” she concluded.

Janet, if you’re reading this, the invitation is always open to give the psychoactive version of your new favorite food another try with the eBaum’s World staff. If you like the taste of mushrooms, you’ll absolutely love getting high off your a**.

After all, “they were properly cooked” is the new “I didn’t inhale”