TikToker Got Out of Going to Church by Building a Jesus Shine on Minecraft

Why go to church when you could just build a Minecraft shrine to Jesus Christ instead?

It’s a question we’ve all wondered (even I, your friendly neighborhood Jew) but have seldom had the guts to ask aloud – that is until TikTok creator Mark Roberts and his childhood best friend really wanted to avoid the firey pits of Hell … and probably Sunday service, tbh.  

Late last month, Roberts took to the platform with a tale of Minecraft woe, detailing how upon logging into an old account he stumbled across a (strangely pious) relic of his youth – a Jesus shrine” that he and one of his pals had constructed several years back.

“I distinctly remember making this shrine with my childhood best friend thinking that it would save us from going to Hell but looking at what we built, this would have sent us to Hell,” he said of the build, which, among other features, boasted a miniature Noah’s Ark, a crucified Steve, and two coordinating, “unironically”–crafted sculptures of the Pope and an altar boy.

“I’m not even Catholic,” he added.

But beyond honoring Jesus Christ and co., Roberts and his friend also accounted for the existence of their own misdeeds, designing a “Drown For Sin” dunk tank where they would take out their real-life mishaps on their digital counterparts.

“There’s a little pool where we would drown our Minecraft characters if we did anything sinful in real life,” Roberts recalled in a subsequent clip flaunting his (probably hellfire-heated) dunk tank.

Jesus Christ declined to comment – probably because he’s been dead for roughly 2,000 years.