The Recession Is Over According to the Exotic Dancer Who Called Economic Downturn Before Experts

As the financial world spent last summer in a panic over an impending recession, one exotic dancer knew damn well what was up long before any CNBC reporter or bank exec.

@botticellibimbo, a self-described “professional slut” and authority in “strippernomics,” per her Twitter bio, headed to the platform in May 2022 with a candid proclamation about the state of the global economy — we were already well into in a recession, no matter what the experts (refused to) say.

“The strip club is sadly a leading indicator and I can promise y’all we r in a recession lmao,” she tweeted last May, a tweet that has since gone viral for its accurate representation of 2022’s brief recession.

More than a year later, @botticellibimbo, who is only the latest stripper to correctly predict global financial trends, is back with another take on the state of the economic marketplace, this time offering a rosier vision for our economy. “I’m fucking finance clients who I haven’t seen since 2021 again so things are looking up!” she wrote in a recent post to a follower questioning whether we were still in the recession she first told us about.

Naturally, her newfound following of finance bros were overjoyed to hear of this improved market. “My favorite indicator is bullish again,” wrote @Bonecondor, as @AndrewMusembi8 dubbed her the “best economic indicator of our time.”

Whether it’s about the economy or not, strippers really are the only ones willing to give us the naked truth.