Dudes Complain After There’s a School Shooting Alert on Their First Day Back at School

The back-to-school season is here, and we all know what that means — it’s time to get out your bulletproof-plated backpacks, put on your body armor and head off to class!

American students must deal with a fairly unique issue: They keep getting shot at. Whereas students in other countries get ready for the school year by, I don’t know, learning things, students in the ol’ US of A have to learn school-shooter drills, be told what to do if someone brings a gun on campus and face locker searches to ensure that they themselves aren’t carrying any weapons.

All of this can be pretty demoralizing — especially if it happens on your first day in class, as these dudes learned upon moving into their dorm. It ended up being a false alarm, but if I were them, I’d be eyeing those university transfer papers.