Dude Caught Jerking Off on a Woman’s Leg at Dollar Tree

Reminder: Dollar Tree is not a place to jack off. Yesterday, Philadelphia police began searching for a man who allegedly went into Dollar Tree, began to beat his meat, and eventually, splooged all of the leg of a stranger. The culprit, a 35-year-old named Gary Miles, has now turned himself in, though he hasn’t explained why he thought the best place to blow a load would be the store where you get off-brand toothpaste and 3 liter bottles of soda. Here’s what it looked like right after he came, came, and went.