Twitter Twibute By @BoyCalledAnn
1.
Headed to the gym. Gonna work on my diptroids. My gluteralids. My quadrapeps. Maybe my trapaceptals. Definitely my vocabulary.
— Derek Lawler (@RowdyBowden) July 2, 2012
2.
I saw my ex-boyfriend about to kiss his new girlfriend.I walked by and casually screamed, "I put my vagina on that!"
— Tyler said what (@KCCOTyler) January 16, 2013
3.
Guys say "never trust something that bleeds seven days and doesn't die" as if something with two heads powered by one brain is trustworthy.
— Lois Lane (@lilgapeach30) May 1, 2013
4.
Every time I see a white work van, I beat the driver unconscious, and check in the back. Sooner or later I'll be a hero.
— mlkef (@mlkef) December 11, 2011
5.
I know women like to be mysterious, but turn signals are for safety.
— The Dork (@The_Dorkster) October 16, 2012
6.
Oh, you lost your phone and it's on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.
— Naazihah (@naazihah) May 4, 2013
7.
My favourite P!nk song is the one where she's angry, but she's finally getting it off her chest.
— Notorious B.E.Z (@MrAdamBez) May 4, 2013
8.
Justin Bieber was attacked in Dubai? This violence against women HAS TO STOP.
— Ally Maynard (@missmayn) May 6, 2013
9.
If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?
— JenReyna (@MoistPork) March 10, 2013
10.
Beyoncé says she wants more kids. Undoubtedly her army of nannies are super excited for the overtime.
— Neal Mayhem (@RealNealMayhem) May 7, 2013
11.
I just saw a broken ukulele in a sidewalk trash can. Good.
— Kyle H (@DepecheALAmode) May 6, 2013
12.
If I am going to catch crabs, it will be with these guys.#mythbusters twitter.com/KariByron/stat…
— Kari Byron (@KariByron) May 7, 2013
13.
What idiot named them rap battles instead of diss appointments.
— Gavin Pivott (@gavinpivott) May 8, 2013
14.
Women don’t like being told what to do unless they’re naked.
— Clearly Unwell (@ClearlyUnwell) July 8, 2012
16.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Nipple squirrel ham
— Eoghan McDermott (@eoghanmcdermo) May 11, 2013
17.
#twerkforjasper @fucktyler @jasperdolphin twitter.com/PIZZAPALACE69/…
— PAT \(•ิ_•ิ)/ (@PIZZAPALACE69) May 13, 2013
18.
Neptunism is when you're only a planet because your dad is a planet
— Sunny Mabrey (@SunnyMabrey) December 28, 2012
19.
I love restaurants that have signs like "Since 1916". It's a great way to know the place you're eating at was probably super racist.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) May 9, 2013
20.
Instead of Gag Gifts, I give Gaga gifts. Everything comes wrapped in an egg & looks like something Madonna already gave you 25 years ago.
— Don Nichols (@TheDairylandDon) May 7, 2013
21.
Self portrait in candy floss twitter.com/SirPatStew/sta…
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) May 9, 2013
22.
Self portrait with candy floss twitter.com/SirPatStew/sta…
— Patrick Stewart (@SirPatStew) May 9, 2013
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