Tweets Whose Father Left for Cigarettes and Never Came Back

1.

What a beautiful birth name.

2.

I'm literally a bag of bones floating on a rock through space. What do you want from me?

3.

Termite twitter is something I never knew existed. Now I'm cursed.

4.

Kanye West is down bad. Just taking L's all over the place.

5.

Please, dude. Just end it for me. Thank you in advance.

6.

Inject crab rangoon filler directly into my veins please and thank you.

7.

Jimmy G out here doing the lord's work.

8.

A loving father, but in the end it was the ball fart that did him in.

9.

Don't you dare print my obituary, don't hold a funeral, I'm done.

10.

Do people actually do this?

11.

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT????

12.

He made an honest mistake, then learned from that mistake.

13.

Where do we come from? Where do we go? Are we human or are we dancer?

14.

This guy gets it.

15.

Never moving to Texas.

16.

I'll follow this dog anywhere.

17.

We all have that one pair of Vans that we just won't let go.

18.

I mean...

19.

Ah sh*t, here we go again.

20.

Annnnnnd there it is. Right on cue.