25 Trashiest Wedding Stories Ever Told

1.

At a park. Pick-up trucks with Igloo coolers opened on the tailgate were the bar. Everything was served in red solo cups BEFORE the wedding. Everyone got drunk. The bride walked down the aisle drinking from a red solo cup instead of holding a bouquet. It was essentially a tailgate party with a preacher invited. -u/Butterbean-queen

2.

Groom beat the sh*t out of the father-in-law. Father in law went to bathroom and died. Groom shot himself in the parking lot. This was 25 years ago in Chicago. Crazy wedding. -u/pohuja

3.

The bride and her sisters did a strip tease/lap dance on the groom immediately following dinner. In front of his grandmother. -u/JohnaldL

4.

Surely that video of the bride walking down the backyard aisle while dirty dancing to her own sh*tty recorded cover of 'Crazy Bitch' has got to be up around here somewhere.

https://youtu.be/fSkHMSKgIWs

-u/Crash4654

5.

My own. In a Mississippi judge's office with a bag of Cheetos on her desk. She wiped her hands on a napkin, grabbed a bible, and did her thing with orange crumbs on her lips. Her work heels were not on because she was in her office. It was extremely rushed. I understand that she was on her break but we didn't mind waiting. -u/Zezima-RS

6.

Probably my dad's 2nd marriage. Along the banks of a river with trailer homes in the background. He's wearing a tuxedo T-shirt and rainbow mirror sunglasses. The ceremony took place at noon: he'd been drinking since 5am. I had to walk one of the bridesmaids down a flight of steps as she was legally blind, and someone asked me if I was going to bang her. Sighs. -u/shibbster

7.

Camo print wedding dress that was borderline see-through. Walked down the aisle to the Scooby-Doo theme. No, nobody knows why they chose that song, including the couple themselves. They divorced a few months later after they both stopped cleaning the house in an act of defiance against one another. -u/Much_Difference

8.

A wedding on the beach behind Hooters. The officiant stood next to a trash bin. As if it was planned, the trash collector pulled up during the vows. Did he wait to change the bag? Absolutely not. Children at the wedding swarmed the couple like flies around the trash can just after the kiss, stepping all over her dress. She bent over to adjust her sandal and a pack of Marlboro reds fell out of the bust along with her right breast. It felt like we were rubbernecking instead of witnessing a marriage. -u/Svetlana_of_Athens

9.

I don’t even know where to begin...Ceremony was comprised of immediate family then followed by a reception with all guests in a relatively nice hotel banquet hall. An hour in at 7pm the open bar was completely closed down because MULTIPLE guests were throwing up in the bathroom sinks causing flooding.

The groom was so wasted even before the ceremony but was blackout by the time of the reception. During the first dance, he kept his hands in his cargo pant khakis the entire time and ate dinner sitting on the floor in a corner of the hall while the bride sat at the head table alone. About two hours in, the groom randomly left and slept at their house while the bride stayed in the newlywed suite by herself. They are now separated as you may have assumed by this point. -u/Rdab3

10.

Waitress at a bogan wedding. The night ended with the chef and I rounding up the kids and barricading us all in the kitchen and locking the doors to prevent the melee of fighting adults outside from A) accessing MORE weapons (Some of them BYO’d knives) and B) hurting the kids. They ranged in age from toddlers to preteens. It was just the chef and me, 2 women and a whole bunch of screaming and frightened kids until the police came and carted everyone off to jail.

Wedding photographer showed up the next morning for the scheduled photoshoot. I had to tell him he could find the wedding party at the local jail. The chef and I are still friends, but we both quit that place shortly after that epic wedding. -u/a_nonny_mooze

11.

I was actually the bartender but it was a hoot. The wedding was outside and it stormed violently. Groom was hammered pre-wedding. Hit on all the bartenders. Then the DJ got hammered, made lewd comments to women on the microphone. Then basically everyone was hammered, knocked over the wedding cake which also happened to be a table with many candles, so the place caught on fire. Good times. Often wonder how that marriage worked out. -u/SnooHobbies7109

12.

The bride made a speech thanking her in-laws for financial assistance for the event. Her mother was not thanked and she was furious. There was a long head table for the bridal party and parents. It was made out of small tables pushed together covered by one long tablecloth. The mother pulled a small table out of the arrangement, catching the table cloth, and nearly destroying the head table set up.

Now the bride got angry and there was much back and forth with various family members attempting to make peace. The mother refused to push back her table and began to invite others to sit with her, all people who were not meant to be seated at the front. The mother of the bride continued to sit there and talk sh*t about her daughter, the bride, to anyone who would listen. -u/lilyspads

13.

Wedding was in a suburban driveway. The maid of honor stole the bouquet from someone’s garden and the best man proudly announced he had shoplifted the rings. The groom wore a button-down shirt that said ‘f*ck off’ in fancy lettering. The bride stopped in the middle of the vows to tell her mother to ‘get that f*cking kid out of here.’ It was her second kid by the previous bloke. -u/HopelessEmu

14.

There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no f*cking chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was f*cking crazy. Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables and chair people didn't bring them but afterward I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said: "Oh we would have had to pay extra for that." -u/PM_MEE_PUSSY_PICS

15.

I had one of my friends from high school get married in a trashy way. His fiancé at the time invited him to lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. She had also invited the whole family (they were in on it), and once my friend showed up he found out it was a surprises wedding (just like you would do a surprise birthday party.)

The even trashier part is they didn't like reserve the restaurant or anything so in his wedding photos (standing in front of the bathrooms by the way) you can see complete strangers coming out of the bathrooms. -u/TaintedTruth222

16.

I once worked a wedding when it was time for the first dance no one could find the groom. Turns out, he went to the resort’s shooting barn to shoot clay pigeons. Upon learning this news, the bride reacted by cursing up a storm on the dance floor. -u/Catsandsnacks22

17.

I went to a wedding that had a Matrix theme. The groomsmen all wore floor-length leather jackets and tiny sunglasses. The MC made a slideshow of images from the movie with the groomsmen’s faces badly photoshopped on. They insisted on calling each other “Neo” and "Morpheous” while high-fiving each other. It was painful. -u/Damn_Canadian

18.

Ceremony was in a park - not booked or decorated, just showed up and found a spot. The reception was at a scout hall. No decorations again, and for catering the bride's family went through Red Rooster drive-thru and got a bunch of whole chickens and chips. Like, 5 different cars went through one after the other and ordered, they didn't even pre-order. Groom and all his friends were high as kites and the only reason the bride wasn't is that she announced she was knocked up. The Groom and his mates bought their dirt bikes and after eating went out and rode them around the hall. Was so loud and muddy. -u/neathspinlights

19.

It was in the middle of absolutely nowhere. It was a 5:00pm wedding and there was no food served and we couldn’t just run out and get McDonald’s or something because there was nothing around. We had to help set up tables. We had to fill out our own thank you cards. They even had an example for us to follow, “Dear ——-, Thank you for the [blank]. We’ll use it to [blank].” Then, they asked us to help take down the tables as well. I refused to help and got the hell out of there. Also, no cake. -u/YouKnowHowIBe

20.

Was mostly okay, and BIL is a really stand-up guy. But y'all, the whole wedding theme was camo. My sister wore a camouflage wedding dress and matching crocs. BIL wore jeans and a dress shirt with a camo vest. The frigging cake was covered in camo-patterned ribbons and IDK where the hell she got camo patterned silk roses but the cake had a pile of those too. -u/talidrow

21.

I went to a wedding in a funeral home once. Drove by it three times before realizing that is was in fact the correct address for the venue. Reception and ceremony were there.. completely dry wedding too. -u/kelserino1994

22.

A family member was at a wedding where the groom's mother was feeding Pakistani sweets to the bride, she dropped one on her expensive wedding dress (they can be sticky and messy) and the bride says "you ruined my wedding dress you b*tch." The groom tells his wife to be to apologize, she refused so the groom tells her she's getting divorced and leaves with his family. Everyone else starts leaving too. They had signed the wedding papers a day before. -u/Apart-Door

23.

So my uncle was a preacher but also owned a restaurant. A 16-year-old got married to her 17-year-old boyfriend in the back room. Her name was Candy. After the ceremony, she opened her wedding gifts like it was her birthday. One of the waitresses (Brenda) had given the bride her old lingerie as a gift. I remember during the reception, Candy went out back to throw the lingerie into a dumpster while Brenda sang “These Boots Were Made for Walking” on karaoke.

For their honeymoon, her mom bought them a room at the Holiday Inn around the corner, but they got bored so they came home. -u/tenaciousDaniel

24.

A family member of mine’s SECOND wedding reception was held inside an indoor gun range. The groom was obviously an avid hunter because the entire wedding party was wearing camouflage suits. The bonus was the "open bar" consisting of two kegs of Coors light sitting in trash cans filled with ice. -u/AdLiving7358

25.

I got married by a Hooters General Manager who is also a judge.