The Things You Do When You Live Alone

1.

You rarely wear more than one layer below the waist.

2.

Anywhere becomes a kitchen.

3.

The location of your laundry varies depending on your mood.

4.

You boogie down to all the "horrible" music on your playlist.

5.

Artificially colored excuses for food are consumed in Costco-worthy quantities.

6.

You spend more time watching movies alone than you do socializing.

7.

You spend an irrational amount of time thinking how long it would take for someone to notice your absence if you were murdered or slipped in the shower.

8.

Your dirty dish situation occasionally gets out of control.

9.

Bodily functions are completed without reservations.

10.

You do everything with the door wide open.

11.

You don't even worry about staying silent late at night.

12.

You watch your favorite "movies" with the volume turned on and then promptly realize why you never did before.

13.

You lie to your friends about why you aren't going out tonight.

14.

If you're single, you mingle without any fear of roommate judgment.

15.

You watch all your favorite trashy TV shows without a single care as to how low your IQ is dropping.

16.

You are frequently at war with yourself.

17.

You strongly embrace the five-second rule.

18.

You make up for the lack of company by having intense conversations with yourself.

19.

You find creative ways to get rid of scary bugs

20.

You bask in the glory of getting away with wearing the same outfit two days in a row.

21.

Talking on the phone turns into an arduous trek around your living quarters.

22.

Sometimes, your loneliness gets the better of you...

23.

But ultimately, you know that there's no roommate worth giving up all this freedom for.