Hilarious and Slightly Insulting Jokes From Our Favorite Comedians
Here's a big list of the some of the best politically incorrect jokes ever told.
Published 9 years ago in Funny
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Jim Jefferies "As far as I know, the devil hasn't brought out a book. We don't know his side of the argument. If you ask me, God and the Devil are having an argument and the Devil's being the bigger fucking man. Because God is just writing shit about him, and the Devil's going, 'I'm not even gonna comment, son, if you talk about me like that.'"
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Norm MacDonald "I went to a gay pride parade. There was an old man and an old woman with a sign that said 'We are proud of our gay son.' That's an odd thing to be proud of. It's not an achievement, like something you work all your life to be. So I found it hard to believe that there were these 60-year-old men at work who are actually bragging, 'You know, my kid, we're so proud of him. He graduated from Harvard first in his class. Now he's articling over at a law firm. And oh yeah, he loves cock! This kid can't get enough cock in his mouth; his ass. I got a picture of the boy here sucking another man's cock.'"
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Nat Baimel "Look at the story of the Native Americans. The white man came to this land and almost starved, until the Native Americans taught them to farm corn. Then the white man murdered them and stole their land. Today, corn is overgrown in this country, and we put high-fructose corn syrup in almost everything we eat. High fructose corn syrup is the leading cause of obesity, which causes diabetes, high blood pressure and death...to the white man. Delayed revenge. Well played, Native Americans. Well played."
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Jim Norton "One time I farted at a girl's house. I wanted to blame it on the dog, but she didn't have one; so I blamed it on the fish. She looked at me and said, 'Fish don't fart.' I replied, 'How do you know, you stupid cunt?' We laughed for an hour over that one, then we sixty-nined. While we were sixty-nining, she farted. I said, 'That darn fish again!' She said, 'The joke's over, scumbag,' and bit my balls."
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Russell Peters "They kicked me out of my school and sent me to the retard school down the street. If you had anything wrong with you, you went to my school. You were in a wheelchair, you went to my school. You were on crutches, you went to my school. You were blind, you went to my school. You were deaf, you had behavior problems, you went to my school. My school had ramps all over the fucking place. It looked like Tony Hawk designed my school."
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Dave Chappelle "Chivalry died when women started reading the shit in all them magazines. They got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. It says on the cover, '100 Ways to Please Your Man,' by some lady. Ain't no 100 ways. That list is four things long -- just suck his dick, play with his balls, fix him a sandwich and don't talk so much. And he'll be happy."