Ménage à Moi and 19 Other Funny Euphemisms for Masturbation

zachnading Published 03/09/2023

Since the dawn of time, men and women have pleasured themselves via masturbation. It's fair to say that since then, all of humanity has been trying to find better and funnier euphemisms for the act itself.

We've sourced the place where users are experts in pleasuring themselves; AskReddit. We've compiled 20 of the funniest slang terms, some classics, some brand new, and we hope our findings help. Enjoy.

1.

"Barbecuing alone.” -ARatOfTobruk

2.

Double-click the mouse. -CaptainErgonomic

3.

Downstairs DJ-ing. -odessapasta

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4.

Manhandle the ham candle. -slapsonlyallbangers

5.

Going to choke the chicken. -hettyb42

6.

Flogging the dolphin. -DoTheMario

7.

Dialing “O” on the pink telephone. -MrsWojadubakowski

8.

Hand to gland combat. -ourkickersucks

9.

Do it in flannel Flick the L.L. bean. -grown_ass_pope

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10.

Giving myself a pearl bracelet. -Goooongas

11.

Ménage-à-moi. -Fromage-a-Trois

12.

Paddling the pink canoe is a fun one, too. -Wikeni

13.

“I’m gonna go hit the sack… and then maybe go to bed." -SwordSorcerer

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14.

Roughing up the suspect. -Kitchen-Explorer3338

15.

Wrestling the bald man. -sirhackenslash

16.

"Slamming the salmon canyon." -The_Muznick

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17.

Shaking hands with the unemployed. -Select_Action_6065

18.

Crankin the stank shank. -frivolouspringlesix9

19.

Twirl the pearl. -minionofjoy

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20.

Manning the torpedo. -CrediblyHandsome

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