32 Dad Jokes For Father's Day

1.

Did you hear about the guy who evaporated? He’ll be mist!

2.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

3.

How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.

4.

Post Malone has canceled his tour. Does that mean he’s postpone Malone?

5.

I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

6.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

7.

People said I’d never get over my Phil Collins obsession, but take a look at me now.

8.

I think calendars are trying to kill us. They’re the reason our days are numbered.

9.

Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.

10.

I wish my kids weren't offended by my Frozen jokes. They really need to let it go!

11.

Why was the stadium so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.

12.

Tequila may not fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

13.

What did the 0 say to the 8? “Nice belt.”

14.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy.

15.

Can someone please tell me what “IDK” means? Every time I ask somebody they say “I don’t know.”

16.

I’m reading a book in Braille. Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

17.

Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

18.

What did the buffalo say to its son when he left? Bison!

19.

Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.

20.

I joined a dating site for arsonists. I’ve been getting a lot of matches.

21.

There are two kinds of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can’t.

22.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

23.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because…

24.

What did 20 do when it was hungry?

25.

Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head.

26.

Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed.

27.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

28.

What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.

29.

How does a hurricane see? With one eye.

30.

I’m the only one my wife has ever dated. All the others were all nines or tens!

31.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.

32.

Why did the fungi leave the party? Because there wasn’t mush-room.