wtf

Scary Things Kids Have Said Proving They’re Absolute Creeps

The saying is "kids say the darnedest things." Most of the time, these things are either cute or utter nonsense.

Sometimes, though, what they say is downright terrifying. Thanks to Reddit, we've collected the creepiest things kids have ever said to their parents.

1.

Him: too bad the babysitter died. Me: no she didn’t bud, she’s just not here today. Him: or she’s in the freezer (while staring at the freezer) Me: you’re pretty creepy sometimes bud Him: just smiles. -u/jvac23

2.

My son tells me stories of "scary uncle Michael" in his bedroom at night. He says he's a grey man that looks like his uncle and he climbs on walls and calls out to him and one night he tried to eat him. Yep, nightmare fuel. -u/steaky_bake_92

3.

My 3-year-old granddaughter said, "Grandma, I just saw a man with no eyes go upstairs." -u/auntshooey1

Advertisement

4.

My little sister had some creepy moments when we were younger. She often claimed that “people” were in her bathroom at night talking, and watching her. She called them “Po and the Tape Monster”. There are a couple of stories regarding them, both funny and creepy.

One night she woke up scared and went to my parents’ room to sleep with them. Before she went back to sleep, she used their bathroom, and when she came out she said “Why are there people in your bathroom mommy?” Dad was out of town, mom still swears this was the scariest thing any of my siblings ever did. -u/TheKrazyKrab23

5.

While I was driving my four-year-old nephew around he spent a solid few minutes telling me about the dead body he stashed in my trunk. This was a long time ago and as far as I know, he isn’t a serial killer. -deleted user

6.

Creepy and funny. My youngest once said to me: “I could make three baby hands out of your hand meat.” -u/Captainfreshness

7.

Definitely thought it was more funny than creepy, but when my kid was 2 he was scribbling on a piece of paper and quietly sang (to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat) "Scrape, scrape, scrape your eyes, scrape your eyes today." -u/Zanarkandite

8.

My kid keeps talking about the babies in the walls of his bedroom. Very off-putting. -u/JohnnyLett

9.

My mom loves telling me this story about the time I discovered hypnotism. When I was four, I found out about hypnotism. I don’t remember how, but apparently, I became fascinated by the idea of having mind control abilities. One day, my mom says my grandpa loaded me into the car for one of our normal grocery store outings only for him to return an hour later “furious.”

After he calmed down, he told my mom that I refused to stop staring him down in the rear view mirror with a very serious look on my face. He had asked me to stop on several occasions but said I never really replied. I just kept staring menacingly. Then, he said all of a sudden I looked into his eyes and said, “Papa…. I’m going to hippo-tize you…. I’m going to put my toe… in your mouth.” My mom said she thought it was funny at the time, but couldn’t laugh because my grandfather was seriously so enraged. -u/_dwelf

Advertisement

10.

We were at a crowded funeral home for his great-grandpa’s service when my son announced he was “here to see the corpse.” -u/Catflappy

11.

My ex-father-in-law died a couple of years before my daughter was born so she never met him. He was known as a pretty funny guy, always quick with a one-liner. As strange as it sounds, there were no pictures of him around until my daughter was about 4 years old and my ex-mother-in-law set one next to the urn where his ashes were kept.

The first time my daughter saw the picture she pointed to it and said, “That’s grandpa! I like when he looks in my window and makes me laugh. I don’t like his friends, though.” She had never mentioned this. When I tried to ask her about it, she seemed nonchalant. She’s older now and says she doesn’t remember it. I’ll never forget it. -u/lolochi

12.

My youngest (was 4) was on the carpet playing with his cars. Son: I can’t wait to get a new house when this house explodes Me: (half listening) Uh-huh, sure that sounds… wait, what?? Son: yeah when our house explodes, be ready and we’ll just run out real fast (and then he turned back to playing with cars like nothing was said) Thankfully that was 5 years ago, and my house has not exploded. -u/MrsSmith07

13.

Just after my little brother was born my mom, 3 y.o. sister and I were talking about what not to do around the baby. Things like not leaving small toys out or throwing balls around the baby. After a few minutes my sister chimed in and said, "and you don't cut off babies lips with a sharp knife". -u/bucnasty303

Advertisement

14.

“Do you like burning?” -The new little girl neighbor. -u/Deverouxe

15.

How come you're not waking up tomorrow? -u/Emergency-Hyena5134

16.

My son was around 3 at the time. Kept refusing to go downstairs as that’s where angel man was, and angel man wanted to hurt the family. -u/New_journey868

Advertisement

17.

When I was about six or seven, the house we were renting was going to be sold. My parents instructed us to keep our rooms tidy because people may be walking through the house during showings. I had the idea to take a little box and write “fortunes” on it. Inside were little slips of paper with “fortunes”. The idea was that prospective buyers could take a slip of paper to get their fortune, kind of like a fortune cookie.

I remember the first couple of slips of paper said stuff like “you will have good luck”. Then the rest of them had some pretty morbid stuff like “you’re going to die”. My parents read the slips of paper beforehand, then sat me down and sternly told me the fortune box was a no-go. I was a pretty serious child, it didn’t occur to me that a fortune box should be light-hearted.

18.

Not my kid, but a little girl in my son’s kindergarten class told me she lives across the street from a cemetery. I asked her if it was spooky to live that close to a graveyard and she said very matter-of-factly, “Not during the day. But at night they all walk up to our windows and scream.” -u/Elvis_Take_The_Wheel

19.

A year ago my daughter was having night terrors, she was 4 at the time. Would wake up screaming every night around 3 am. My wife and I would go stay with her until she fell back asleep. We assumed she was just having nightmares but one morning she had told me that she was afraid because there in a man in her closet that doesn't have a head who keeps waking her up… -u/cobraskunk

Advertisement

20.

Not said to me, but to one of my colleagues. She has two sons, and the younger started to have these terrible nightmares where he's being chased by someone with a huge knife and wants to murder him and all the kids. He would - as you can imagine - wake up screaming and refusing to go back to sleep. And then he asked his mom, "mommy, is there a way how I could make myself not alive? I don't want to live like this anymore". I can't even imagine how his mom must feel when it's her child, but damn. -u/NefInDaHouse

21.

My son was talking about his friend the "upside-down clown" while I was putting him to bed one night. Needless to say, not a fan of that concept. -u/Penguin-Monk

22.

We observe a man littering on our block. 3 yo daughter: "He just littered!" me: "He did. Littering is bad." daughter: "He should be executed." (By which she meant, specifically, having his head cut off.") me: "Uh, maybe not for a first offense." -u/bsnyc

Advertisement

23.

“Remember before I was a baby when I was a different little boy and I had a different mommy and daddy?” “Uh… no buddy, do you remember that?” “Hmmm, only a little.” -u/DontDoxxSelfThisTime

24.

Playing on the floor with my son, he's two. Pillows on the floor, we're pretending to go "night night" and sleep. Takes the pillow away from me, stands above my head, looks down and says" bye-bye" and places the pillow over my face. -u/chucklesses86

25.

I have an awesome video of my son. He was maybe 2-3 at the time. He was taking a quarter and trying to put it in the slot just above the door handle of a closed closet. He kept repeating. “(His name) pay the lady, I pay her”. When I asked what he was doing he responded “I have to pay the lady in the closet”. I asked him why is there a lady in the closet. He said, “she lives there. I pay her”. -u/121guy

13
12,598
Views
0
Comments
0
Favorites
Next

Next on eBaum's

No Articles Found
No Articles Found
Sorry, we were unable to load more articles
Congratulations! You've reached the end of the never-ending list.
{if(/video|article/i.test(wData.articleType);}
Menu search Account Home Video Gallery Article Contest Newest NEW Popular Forums Spicy Games Picture wiFunny Feels Creepy WTF! FTW! WOW! wiEww Facepalm Ouch Blog pinterest Contest Winner Contest Finalist facebook pinterest twitter whatsapp email user views user comments user favorites Next Article List View