33 On-the-Job Secrets Most People Don't Know

1.

Every job, career, or industry comes with its own bits of insider knowledge, things you learn while on the job, or are taught by a more experienced co-worker. Most people will never know those little details or bits of knowledge unless they find themselves working in said industry.

These are the parts of the job no one tells you about on Day 1 - the kind of stuff that only true insiders get to know.

2.

Public libraries are not safe places to drop off your kids. It's not the books that are unsafe; it’s the other patrons, and the fact that librarians are not babysitters.

3.

In most places, we don't set the prices for anything. Your surgeon is not making $50,000 on your grandma's hip because the hospital charged that much. He or she is probably getting $1,500, and the institution gets the rest. Insurances and institutions are the problem.

4.

Your children are generally [jerks] and we don't find them nearly as charming as you find them

5.

'Switching it off and on again' in I.T. usually resets the device to the state before you angry about with it — this quite often solves the problem.

6.

Veterinary- just because you can’t afford care for your pet, doesn’t mean I have to give said care for free. Nor does it it mean I’m heartless and cruel and killing your pet. It just means you can’t afford it.I have bills to pay too. I have a right to make a living wage. I need to get paid. We get no government funding, we exist solely because people they their bills.

7.

I work on super yachts. We understand that the rich and famous can get away with ordering drugs, h****rs, and whatever else they want to their yachts. I've been stopped by police with drugs, but when I tell them it's for the owner of the yacht I work on they let me go. Rules and laws do not apply to the rich and famous. Oh,....... And yacht owners are rich and rarely famous. The really rich don't want to be known.

8.

You actually don't want an exotic animal as a pet.

9.

I am not a babysitter. It is your job as a parent to watch your kid when swimming and if they can't swim, you have to be in the water within five feet of them at all times.

10.

Yes, the animal is in the exhibit. Sometimes you have to look for longer than eight seconds.

11.

Bathroom renovations — things take time. Drying times are a factor. If I ask your budget, it’s not because I’m trying to empty your account. I just need to know your expectations so I can meet them.

12.

I work in healthcare. People are dumb and I’m just going to leave it at that.

13.

Pencils are expensive. Prints are expensive. Proper paper is expensive. It takes a lot of time to do a painting. So, no, I can't give it to you for free or 'exposure.'

14.

Marriage and Family Therapist: Your partner only wants your advice if they ask for it. They want you to listen and emphasize. Tell them what they're going through must (fill in appropriate adjective here- examples: suck, feel amazing, feel overwhelming, etc)

No, you haven't found your soulmate. You're brain is giving you a super boost in brain chemicals so you screw like bunnies and have babies. Tell me in 1.5-2 years if they're still your soulmate. That's how long it takes for that chemical boost to return to their "normal for you" state. And not feeling fireworks at the first kiss doesn't mean anything. Plenty of amazing long-term relationships started from friendship (which by the way is what you'll need to have a long-term, fulfilling relationship).

Also... be kind to each other. You will each f*** things up in your relationship. All is not lost because one of you talked to an ex, forgot a birthday, etc. Relationships go through seasons and I promise if you can work though the winter you'll have an amazing summer! Every relationship sucks sometimes (screw you social media and your highlight reels).

Lastly, though there are so many more- I can't stress this one enough, there is no such thing as my problem or yours. Though the work to get through it will look different for each of you, once you decide to become partners, everything becomes ours to work through together. Yes, even that thing that happened before you met but is getting in the way of your healthy relationship. And especially that thing you never want to talk about that is getting in the way of your relationship.

15.

Flossing actually helps.

16.

Just because I "play" in a band, doesn't mean it isn't work! For every hour you see me on stage, I spent probably 100 hours practicing and rehearsing, so you would enjoy listening to me.

17.

Teaching children takes more than subject knowledge. Many people think that their experience as a student qualifies them to be teachers. It's called the apprenticeship of observation. There are strategies for both classroom management and teaching that you don't learn from being a student.

18.

Unpleasant feelings are healthy and needed for us to function properly

19.

Just because I'm an electrical engineer doesn't mean I can rewire your house. At least not legally.

20.

That everyone is entitled to due process and to be presumed innocent until proven guilty no matter how sleazy or guilty they are.

21.

Emergency Rooms are NOT first-come, first-serve businesses! We triage you for a reason, and you CANNOT cut the line in front of somebody with a more serious complaint just because you got here first!

22.

I work in long term mental health care with special need adults.I see al kinds of s**t, trust me. Most people get that. I get the 'ah you are such a hero for doing what you do, I could never do that' quite often.What most people don't grasp is that the good moments are equally amazing as the bad things are horrible.My residents are capable of such great things. Or they become so happy in our care it's just amazing to witness.I could tell amazing or terrible things about my job, depending on the mood you're in to hear about.

23.

I am a material scientist.America will never go to war with Russia. We buy too much Titanium and Helium from them.

24.

If you want to fit a portrait image into a landscape canvas, you either have to crop it, leave a black or white border or empty space left and right, or distort it (which is almost always a bad idea). On a regular occurrence, clients are unhappy with either of these options, they just want me to somehow make it fit.

25.

You can lie all you want about falling on or accidentally sitting on the stuff that gets lodged in your rear end, none of us HCWs believe you though!

26.

No, I can't grab your iPhone and take a picture to match my best studio works, even if it's the most recent model of an iPhone. Also, yes, I do charge money 'just to take a picture.

27.

My god, your chocolate will last the two weeks until Christmas. Buy it now and give it next Christmas. It has a shelf life measured in years. And stop putting it in the fridge. I made it three months ago and it's been sitting at room temperature in a box since then. If you put it in the fridge for a week it'll get condensation on it and turn sticky, or the cold will ruin the tempering.

28.

Horses are less fragile than people think. They are also more fragile than people think. Also, it probably won’t kick you if you walk behind it, but insurance is expensive, so please don’t.

29.

We can't keep a copy of every book ever published on hand in our store. Some things we will have to order for you.

30.

Yes, your flight is in fact delayed due to weather. Yes, I also understand it’s a gorgeous day here AND at our destination airport. What you don’t understand is the airplane is coming from New York and THEY had weather.

31.

Not every problem with audio is feedback. Feedback is when the sound goes out the speakers and back through the mic and loops around and around. Ground hum is not feedback, noise is not feedback, echo off the wall is not feedback. And speak up, people, the mic isn't magic, you need to be heard!

32.

Just because I'm an IT guy doesn't mean I know how to fix everything. Just like every other profession, there are specialties. Want me to build out a server? Im in. Want me to remove a virus on your Windows 7 machine? Ummm... No thanks, not really my gig.

33.

I paint the lines on roads (white edge lines and yellow center lines) and SOMEHOW when the signs and flashing lights on the truck say "DO NOT PASS" and "WET PAINT" people still pass us and get paint slung up onto their car... then feel the need to call our office and insurance company to get a free trip to the body shop.... or they pull in front of the paint truck to stop us and cuss us out..

34.

Every aircraft has a crack somewhere.