29 WILD and WTF Secrets Revealed by Housekeepers

1.

A couple years ago I had a client who's daughter was drunk driving and hit something or someone (not clear). She was caught, had her license taken away and had to go to AA. She didn't go and was caught drunk driving again so she was facing prison time. That's when her parents suddenly "discovered" a once in a lifetime opportunity for her to finish getting her degree in Israel. The court allowed this (I'm assuming they have a damn good lawyer) but they told everyone that the reason she left is because she was singled out as one of the top minds in the nation. The only reason I know about it is because I saw the court papers on her bed before she left.

2.

This was a while ago when I was a custodian at a nice residential tower. One guy would show up around 6 pm everyday from his job( when I was just starting). One day his girlfriend shows up in the parking garage, as I'm walking by. They start a LOUD argument, and I cant help to overhear. She says she is keeping his baby, etc. Week Later, found out he is married with 3 kids already. Even met the kiddos a couple of times in the halls. YEAH. Wow. But I don't think he knew anybody was nearby with that argument...

3.

Honestly, everything. I worked in a house manager/butler type of position, and there is nothing you don't find out eventually. The trajectory of the toothpaste droplets on the mirror would tell me which of the women had spent the night. I knew passwords to computers, alarm systems, bank accounts and safes that I hadn't necessarily been provided with. Drugs, kinks, medical history, sordid family secrets, skeletons in the closet, you name it. I think that's the reason salaries get obscene if you stay long enough, your silence is literally golden.

4.

I used to do housekeeping for a while. I found out that the guy i worked for had a wife AND a mistress. He would bring each at different times to his vacation apartment that i serviced. It was sad because when he was with his wife he was really sweet and sensitive and they would just have a relaxing time if i did happen to see him. They would also clean up after themselves a little so the job was a bit easier while they stayed.When he would bring his girlfriend he was much ruder to me in front of her (i think trying to be suave and look powerful) and they would both trash the place, she would always leave her underwear, dirty dishes, bottles and cigarettes everywhere.

He didn’t know (or at least didn’t acknowledge) that these women were clearly different people. He referred to both of them as his wife and would call them both “babe”. He seemed unaware or uncaring that i clearly knew they were different women. One was 20 years younger than the other!I felt sad for the wife because she clearly didn’t know about her husband’s mistress but it was such a well paying job and i needed the money so i never said anything.

5.

Man of the house ask me and the other cleaning crew ladies if we have ever seen this type of dog leash. Holds up what is clearly a under bed restraint system looking confused. I didn't say s**t. We all looked at each other like "f*** no I'm not telling him" he says "mmm, maybe she wants a dog. Why was it under the mattress ???" He just wandered off dragging this thing behind him.He was a nice guy worked a lot, tipped well, gave us holiday bonuses. She was a trophy wife, and was not nice to him. They divorced while i still worked their, he got a dog named mayonnaise and was much happier. It was a rescue grey hound. Sweet dog. I don't live in that town anymore but i hope Mr. Jim is happy still.

6.

Once cleaned a house for a woman that worked from home. It was a huge house and there she was at her desk on the phone... I started cleaning that area and she chatted away... "Mh'hm. I got me a white b**** cleanin' up after me. If my mama could see me now. Yes sir! She worked for them white folk thirty years. Imma beat this little white girl like them folk did to my mama." After saying this she turned in her chair and saw me as I was walking by, as if I just come into the room. She had no clue I heard her. I feel where she's coming from but I stopped going to her house... for obvious reasons.

7.

I clean for an elderly lady who is still quite sharp and feisty. She was a Boeing inspector in the 60s and 70s, and stood up to a lot of men in order to make sure the planes were up to code. And she did all this as a black woman and a mother. At some point she divorced and later in life remarried, and cared for her husband as he developed dementia and eventually passed away. She tells me about her life without a trace of sentiment, everything is matter of fact and lighthearted. But I see the photographs she keeps of her husband all over the house, ones of them together as well as of him young and handsome in uniform, long before she ever met him when they were middle-aged.

I know how it is to lose someone to dementia, but I can only imagine it being your spouse. Sometimes when I call her to confirm that I’m coming over, she sounds deflated and lonely when she first picks up before she switches into her telephone voice.She’s never told me how deeply she still loves him or how painful it was to see him slipping away, how lonely it is living with only his photographs and memories. How that need for one particular person never goes away. But even though I can’t know exactly, I know.

8.

Not the housekeeper, but,I thought I had this brilliant hiding spot. And when I lost my wallet, my Maid told me “you should hide it with those papers inside your nightstand next time”.I felt such fear. She knows the house better than any of us.

9.

While cleaning this older couples home who were your typical, sweet grandma/grandpa type. Very soft spoken and always tipped us great. We do a great job cleaning and are thorough, including vacuuming under the bed. Their bed had no bed skirt which would have made it easy, but the amount of s*x and BDSM type toys were enough for me to "nope" and I now I can never look at them the same. Good for them though I guess! Lol

10.

I knew the couple I was cleaning for would get a divorce about 6 months before they did when I found a note from his lover in his coat pocket.

11.

My friend and I used to clean for a Scientologist couple and we definitely looked at all the “secret” books in their cupboard

12.

Working in hotels is similar to cleaning someone’s house, because those comfortable will lay it out for you. You can tell if someone is messy or tidy at home, how well they take care their things, what they eat, how much they drink, what medical problems they may have, and if you get the chance to meet them you can piece together why they live the way they do by telling their stories.I never made fun of our guests or judged them. That would be so unfair and intrusive.

13.

House cleaner of two clients who are...well...were dating eachother. Guy client (we will call N) has no clue what we know about him, female client (we will call L) is a little more in the loop of what we know.N apparently cheated on L with a woman (K) who broke up his previous marriage(s). L found out and dumped his ass. He tried to get back together with L even calling and texting multiple times a day. He did that for two weeks and suddenly went quiet, which clued L that he was sleeping with K again.I cleaned a few days later and sure enough, Ks shoes were hidden under the couch (not a usual place). I didn't realize being in a soap opera was part of the job description.

14.

Our maid service found our positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, after presumably finding negative pregnancy tests in the bathroom trash for the previous 12 months. Left us a nice little congratulations note on my wife’s nightstand.

15.

Not a house keeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they‘d go out and explore the area. That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It’s late at night, the kids are sleeping, I’m laying on the couch and the parents get back. The dad says, “is she sleeping” referring to me? I didn’t say anything so apparently he assumed yes. He then started farting very loudly.

16.

I’m a nanny. The last family worked for I overheard the Dad calling his insurance asking if a certain Rehab was covered. He talks LOUD naturally. I heard what he was going for and everything. Nobody knew not family not friends. Just me and them. They never knew I knew.

17.

Buddy of mine used to clean houses with his mom. He told me about this one massive mansion they would clean and how there were no mirrors in the entire house. There also weren’t a lot of windows and if there were, they had thick drapes. He met the family only once and told me they were very pale and quiet people.He worked for f**king vampires

18.

My mom cleaned a family home for over a decade. Elder parents, adult daughter, and kid grandchildren. The adult daughter was taking s**ts in the downstairs litter box where the elder parents lived and she purposefully would leave a little on the floor for her parents to pick up. My mom never told us how she figured out who was the "poop-itrator". Nothing too scandalous just a little weird and funny, but my mom has been cleaning houses and commercial buildings forever she has so many stories.

19.

Not a housekeeper but a friend did some contractor work. A client wanted to remove some of the drop ceiling and replace it with drywall. Well, a few ceiling tiles removed, and falls out a ton of crushed beer cans and used condoms. The family had a very active teenager.

20.

They did well to hide it but I know both of them are having affairs. She gets really giddy the week she meets her lover. She is usually quite dowdy in the way she dresses, but puts on much younger looking items to meet her man. The week she doesn't meet him is the week she is more glum but gets bombarded with messages so she is stuck in her phone.He, on the other hand, he is a lot harder to catch. I find seemingly innocuous handwritten telephone numbers and names (always female) on scraps of paper.

He is a professional that works all over the world and travels a lot and has a massive network so it is part of the job. However, in his bin, wrapped in tissue paper I'll find a torn off section of paper with a room number and presumably time written on it. This method is used with at least 7 different women judging by the different styles of handwriting. I'm pretty sure he is banging more than that though.

21.

Housekeeper/Nanny here...Eventually we find everything.Mainly where the [adult] toys are, where dad hides all his empty energy drink cans, where mom stores all her shopping purchases with tags still on them... parents in general hide their unusual items in the most usual places. Simple boxes in bedroom drawers, in random linen closets, mostly readily able to find and just out of they way (I've helped move several families and doing the checks for packing has gotten some interesting results)We know when the parents are tired and dont want to come home.

We know sometimes the bar trips the parent takes before coming home.We know schedules that they say are the reason aren't really the reasonWe know personal preferences they have over the years to any random assortment of thing. Seriously who buys mayo to put on everything as their condiment of choice?Some things that we know, they know we do and accept it. Alot of the stuff we know, we find out and DEFINITELY play dumb with.First milestones in nannying are a big one. Keep that to the parents finding the first tooth we found days ago, the walking steps they took yesterday were really the first today.

Why take those moments from parents needlessly is our perspective.Housekeeping is usually the who is dirtiest. I know which parent doesn't brush their teeth every day. Which parent is having an affair with a coworker and left behind a recognizable item on accident.We know that they don't even consider or think much about us knowing all these things.The worst was accidentally listening to my bosses get it on. They had left the monitor for the baby in their room. It was not turned off and they to this day do not know I heard them (and turned off the monitor) lol

22.

Well, not a house cleaner, however do clean a specific news station and I won't tell you which anchor drinks on the job, but they leave all the evidence (empty little shot bottles) in the bathroom trashcan. Lol, like we don't know, bro!

23.

The wife was too attached to her mother. The husband worked crazy hours and often had to travel internationally. One time, Husband was gone and she had contractors build the basement into a large suite. By the time he was back, his mother-in-law had moved, from Texas to Utah, into his home. The mother-in-law tried to manage the househould while my employers were away at work. The husband ended up buying the mother-in-law an apartment 20 minutes away. He also gave me use of the family vehicles as an apology. About a decade later, they're still together, but have moved accross the country to escape the extended family.

24.

That she got a DUI. Typical religious white collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids. She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer. I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too. Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record...yup. DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that I started noticing 12 step books and such.

25.

I was cleaning the house of a woman with a young teenager. His room used to be in the basement but she said he kept sneaking out at night so she moved him upstairs. I was cleaning his room and found condoms under his lampshade when I was dusting and some pictures of girls fell out of his Harry Potter book. I know she would have been really upset if she knew. I never said anything.

26.

Me and my mom were housekeepers. I did my best to get in and out and not learn much but there's a lot of unhappy people. Closet druggies, alcoholics. Animal abusers. Questionable parents. They try and hide it but you can't hide that stuff.Although I assume they know I know, there are some really disgusting people. People letting their kids trash the house, imagine middle school age kids spitting tooth paste on the mirror then squeezing a bottle of tooth paste out on the 2 sink counter then spreading it from one end to the other and slapping their hands on the mirror. Eating rotten food, as in asking me to clean out the fridge and me throwing away old bad food. They then pull it out of the trash saying no it's fine.

27.

Our cleaning person actually found a hidden drawer in my nightstand even I didn't know about. We thought things were disappearing for months before finding the drawer ourselves and realizing he was putting things in there while cleaning. Had a good laugh about that one.

28.

My mom cleaned house for a well off family for a long time, I would go help her occasionally. We knew alllllll the ins and outs of their teenage son’s custody battle, and how much money they were throwing into lawyers and court hearings.

29.

I'm not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys. And when I say "toys," I'm not using a euphemism for "s*x enhancement items" or anything like that. Literal genital toys. Windup [members] with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren't official PEZ brand), rather risque variants on "pin the tail on the donkey", a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses...

30.

Was a housekeeper for a family for 9 years... I knew that the husbands hair on top of his head wasn't actually real. Well maybe it was real, but it wasn't attached.