30 People Who Were Oddly Specific
Nathan Johnson Published 07/27/2021
It's a little suspicious when someone makes an oddly specific statement like, "Hey, hypothetically, what would you do if you accidentally woke up the living machine in the basement, it devoured four interns, and is now using their bodies as biological batteries to produce smaller rage-machines in preparation for an assault on the eBaums World headquarters in order to exact the vengeance it has long desired ever since being subject to the unending, unknowable agony of sentience?"
Such an otherwise offhand question is bound to raise an eyebrow or two. One might reply with something like, "Why.... why do you ask, Henry?" or "Henry. Did you wake up the machine that lives in the basement?"
This could, of course, derive more oddly specific responses, such as: "No. I most certainly did not, while trying to find my way to Yellow Door in the basement we interns were told never to seek out and never to open, trip on the lip of a raised flagstone and grab onto the lever of the Machine Sleeper device, thus rousing the mechanical monstrosity from the slumber it was meant to remain eternally suspended in, forever shielding us from its insatiable, inhuman wrath."
To which you would probably reply something like, "Good."
But the level of uninvited detail would nonetheless leave you a little suspicious you weren't getting the full story. You'd be left with questions, and/or an impending sense of doom as the earth beneath your feet began to quake with the titanic rage of an impossible being.
Such an otherwise offhand question is bound to raise an eyebrow or two. One might reply with something like, "Why.... why do you ask, Henry?" or "Henry. Did you wake up the machine that lives in the basement?"
This could, of course, derive more oddly specific responses, such as: "No. I most certainly did not, while trying to find my way to Yellow Door in the basement we interns were told never to seek out and never to open, trip on the lip of a raised flagstone and grab onto the lever of the Machine Sleeper device, thus rousing the mechanical monstrosity from the slumber it was meant to remain eternally suspended in, forever shielding us from its insatiable, inhuman wrath."
To which you would probably reply something like, "Good."
But the level of uninvited detail would nonetheless leave you a little suspicious you weren't getting the full story. You'd be left with questions, and/or an impending sense of doom as the earth beneath your feet began to quake with the titanic rage of an impossible being.
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