30 People Out of Touch With Reality
Humans are messy. We're each a little complicated, in our own way. But some people are significantly more questionable than others.
Maybe they're a little stubborn about some hard-to-understand ideas about reality, or maybe they're simply too busy living their best lives as their all-too-authentic selves to give a care about how the mechanics of the real world work. To each his own!
1.
A girl from my town thought the average income in America was 500k and that she was lower middle class.
2.
A guy at a party was talking about how great technology was. I agreed. He then proceeded to talk about how there are people made of computer chips walking among us and we don't know who they are. I took the opportunity to say, "I know. You could be one of them." And walked away. I stared at him from across the room off and on the rest of the night. Good times.
3.
An American tourist I met (I live in South America), when I asked her how it felt to be so far from home, told me that she really isn't that far because these "so-called foreign countries" are actually located within the United States and they just fly the plane in circles for hours and hours to convince you that you're in another country.
4.
I work as a psychologist at a school. One student had missed nearly 30 days of school in one term (55 days), so I was asked to investigate. The mother straight faced told me that she didn't want to drive the 2 minutes from their house because they had to cross a train track, and she thought having to wait for a train to pass was simply unacceptable. I thought she was joking. She was not.
5.
A family friends son has autism. I overheard my grandfather say, “when’s the kid gonna snap out of it and get a job?”
6.
I am a waitress and someone wrote “get a real job” on the line for my tip. It was a $150 tab with an incredibly demanding table. I work another job and I go to school full time, but whatever floats your boat.
7.
A friend's uncle, who is a spiritual healer of some sort, claimed one day he would be known as the first man to cure cancer with "spiritual healing techniques" whatever that mean. The woman he "treated" stopped her treatments because she was "cured" and died inside six months. Apparently no one saw fit to bring that guy to justice. His explanation was : "She died from a different cancer that was at the same place with the same symptoms at the same time and the first cancer was hiding the second one so he couldn't treat her properly because, you know, I couldn't feel the second one...." I wish he would go to prison.
8.
I was struggling to pay bills and a friend was like, "Don't worry, your mom and dad care about you, they'll pay them for you". I told her I wanted to be a self-sufficient adult and my parents didn't have the money to cover my bills anyway. Her mind was blown.
9.
Overheard from a girl at college freshman orientation in 2008: "I'm definitely worried! The economy is SO bad my parents had to sell our vacation home! Well you know the second one we don't visit as often...." Yeeeeeeaaahhh.... don't mind me with my flat of ramen...
10.
A colleague and I both had our laptops out at work. He had some movies on his that he was offering to share onto mine for later viewing. I suggested an ad-hoc wifi network as a means of quickly and painlessly transferring the files. "Oh no I don't believe in Wi-fi". Sorry what?
11.
My grandmother tried to get me to participate in a self-exorcism. She said I was posessed by "socialist demons".... because I visited Canada.
12.
I grew up in a rich town not being rich. I will never forget this one girl saw me with my iPhone 3G in highschool (and I was super lucky to have it), and the iPhone 4 had come out the weekend before. She then asked me 100% seriously "Why don't you have the new iPhone?". She didn't really understand not everyone could afford the new iPhone every time one came out...
13.
Someone seriously asked me“Wow, howd you get your baby so tan?” My Native American wife holding the baby. I always avoid this person when i can...how can you be so dumb.
14.
My assh*le of an uncle once told my grandmother that it was her fault my grandfather got Alzheimers because she didn't take care of him well enough.
15.
I worked at a vet clinic, and a woman came in with her dog who had a horrible skin problem stemming from a flea infestation. Before I could even say anything, she claimed someone was after her, and had been stabbing her and her dog in their sleep with tree bark. It took me a few seconds to process that one. She also told me that she knew we hadn’t actually euthanized her old dog (that she had YEARS ago) but that we had sold her to Hollywood. Apparently she saw her in a commercial and that was her proof. The dog would have been like 20 by that point so no, we didn’t “sell her to Hollywood.” Honestly kind of sad, but the only person I have ever directly interacted with who was truly out of touch with reality.
16.
My dad retired last November. After being out of work for a few months he decided he needed a simple job to keep him busy. He applied at Total Wine as a cashier and asked for $20 an hour because that’s what he thought minimum wage was up to.
17.
My sister’s mother-in-law told her that my niece can’t naturally be left handed and that if she is that it is part of my sisters job as a parent to teach her the “correct” way.
18.
“I get a lot of info from dr. Phil and dr. Oz, they are a great resource without having to do more than turn the TV on”
19.
I have a few health conditions that my parents and grandmother never allowed me to disclose to my family or friends because "it would be difficult to get me married".
20.
My mum once said that the sun couldn’t be a star because ‘stars only come out at night’. She hasn’t lived that one down haha
21.
A very close friend “my money is my money but my partner’s money is also my money”. To clarify she wasn’t going to accept her partner having access to her money but only her to his. Also she’s single.
22.
A woman I work with once said "I'm convinced I'm immune to cancer because neither my mom nor my grandmother had it." Said lady has smoked more than a pack a day for 30 years but uses the above "evidence" as a reason why she's never had her lungs checked.
23.
My grandmother (who doesn't live with us) told my out of work brother that he needs to "stop doing work around the house" because I, being female, should be the one doing it all. Never mind I'm the only one with any sort of income, lemme do all the housework too, k thx. We had a good laugh at that one.
24.
In Portland, Oregon.. USA. I asked a traveler, "How do you like Portland?" And she replied. " I love it! It has the aura of a lizard" and I just got up and walked away. Portland can be weird but sometime I just can't.
26.
My mom was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that corn could only be harvested by hand. I showed her videos of corn harvesting machines, and she insisted they were all CGI. It grew into a pretty significant argument. Eventually she called my sister, who is a librarian, to ask her. When my sister agreed with me, she said "ok then" and never spoke of it again.
27.
My boss has some very weird one-liners. He's often (not joking) told me he was born in the same year as me, when he's a 60 year old man, and I'm in my twenties. He also also often refereed to himself as 'Little Boy Blue.' Nodding politely is 90% of my job at this point.
28.
In the East, it could be the COLDEST New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old Global Warming that our Country, but not other countries, was going to pay TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS to protect against. Bundle up!
29.
When I say "Google it" and they respond with "I can't do it/I don't know how" It's almost 2018 and that person has 1000$ (1150€ in my country) smartphone in his pocket.
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