30 Moments When People Suddenly Realized They Were Old

1. When I opened a new pack of sponges for dishwashing and became all excited to use a fresh sponge.

2. When a song I loved as a teenager appeared as an oldie on the radio.

3. When I started getting excited for 9pm bedtime.

4. Saw some neighborhood kids messing with a stop sign while driving home. I slowed the car down, rolled down a window and said, "Hey... I think maybe you shouldn't be doing that." Which in my mind meant cut it out before an adult catches you. But these kids look sheepishly at the ground and give me an ok like I was the adult in the situation. Which I was, gently chastising children for fooling around with public property. Well, either that time or when I buried my father and realized I was the oldest living male in my family. That was more sobering than fun.

5. When one of my younger coworkers took it upon herself to explain to me who Cardi B was. I already knew who she was and was familiar with her music. Apparently I just looked like I needed to be supplied with this info.

6. When a 22 year old offered me their arm to get down steps. I'm not old, I was just tired you little punk!!

7. When I saw a smoking hot redhead on the subway, and instead of thinking "wow, she's smoking hot" I thought, "I hope she uses lots of sunscreen because she's vulnerable to skin cancer."

8. When I went to a nightclub last weekend and everyone looks like children...

9. I’m scared of teenagers now

10. I just bought a new mop and was really excited to go home and use it :( I mopped the whole apartment in absolute bliss. I finally decided that I will not fall for the Swiffer commercials again.

11. When I hated loud music, wanted to go home early and wanted my neighbors to keep the noise down. I am now Squidward.

12. We went to a trampoline park for a friend's birthday. I pulled a muscle in the first ten minutes.

13. When my best friend and I were planning for a concert next month and for the first time in our lives we were like "Do we... want to buy seats instead of standing in the pit?".

14. I felt a sneeze coming on while I was bent over and legitimately thought, "I have to stand up straight for this if I want to keep my back."

15. When the check knee light came on

16. One day my back decided to leave a memo

17. When I dislocated my jaw lying in bed yawning. Didn't even think it was even possible.

18. When I realized having a one in front of my birth year is all anyone needs to know I'm old enough to purchase alcohol. I don't know why but that dumb fact just hit me like a ton of bricks.

19. It hits you when you’re 36. That’s the year you could’ve had a child at age 18 who would become 18 and possibly have a child, making you old enough to be a grandparent.

20. It was when I went to casually step off a 4 foot drop. I had one foot of the ledge and my brain screamed Danger, I had to stop reset and prepare myself to absorb the impact and make sure I bent my knees. 20 year old me wouldn't have thought at all about that. I was in my mid thirties at the time.

21. Neighborhood kid next door, must be 22 or so calls me sir. First time it happened I was like “sir? Dude I’m like….okay a lot older than you.”

22. When i stopped healing as fast as i used to.

23. When my daughter asked to listen to oldies. Like nirvana, pearl jam, foo fighters. I'm thinking no they are not oldies.

24. I got "ma'am"ed by a random twenty-something. Broke my heart

25. When I started viewing guys on motorcycles with concern instead of awe… damn kids gonna get himself killed vs. oooh look at that hot rebel.

26. "reasonably recent" references are met with dead silence and confusion by young adults/teens. Kids call you "sir" or "that man over there" Body aching the morning after moderate physical activity. Food starts to give you problems while you used to eat tons of it with no repercussions.

27. I took my fiancé back to the University I attended and we went for a drink at my old favorite bar. Ordered a margarita & the waitress said, “Do you want the well tequila that we serve to everyone or like…. adult tequila?”

28. Threw my back out on my 30th birthday

29. When my daughters friend referred to me as "blah blahs dad" instead of my name. I was shook.

30. This year when multiple SONS of American football players I watched growing up got drafted into the NFL.