29 Things You'll Relate To If You're Nearing Your 30's

1. You know that if it's past 8 p.m. and you're not already out, you're NOT going out.

2. You shudder when you realize college was 10 YEARS AGO.

3. Hangovers not only last longer, but INTENSIFY as the day goes on.

4. Celebrity kids are now SO grown up. Yep, Britney has a 9-year-old and an 8-year-old.

5. You realize it's always worth it to pay more for the direct flight.

6. Comfortable shoes seem more and more attractive.

7. You dread New Years Eve more than death itself. The crowds! The having-to-stay-up-late! The Am I having enough fun as I should be having?

8. Every party you go to now includes at least one baby.

9. You voluntarily buy kale. It's good for you and it tastes horrible.

10. Hello, pimples and wrinkles at the same time!

11. You and your friends talk openly about pooping.

12. You don't know who any YouTube stars are. Who are these people the teens keep referencing?

13. Your back hurts when you do strenuous tasks, like getting out of bed in the morning.

14. You witness your first Facebook Divorce. And it's either ugly, or so subtle you almost missed it.

15. You stop freaking out when you don't have plans on a Saturday night. Early twenties: Im staying in tonight and Im such a loser and no one likes me. Now: FINALLY!!

16. Pants without actual waistbands become your top sartorial priority.

17. Everything is now being marketed to people way younger than you.

18. You realize you've started ordering what your mom orders at the bar.

19. You're truly horrified by the length of time you've been paying your student loans vs. how much of a dent you've made in your principal.

20. Happy hour becomes would rather be at home hour.

21. College kids start to look like small children to you.

22. These signs make you officially feel like a fossil.

23. You lose the ability to digest the dollar menu.

24. Your childhood is now for sale at vintage stores.

25. You stop being romantic about having your own business cards.

26. Crafting starts to sound a lot more appealing. You can do it on your couch!

27. Being cozy starts to supplant all other interests. Yes, this Snuggie IS unironic, thank you.

28. Teen slang enrages you.

29. Your life has generally calmed down a little, and you're totally OK with that. We cant be 21 forever!