1. When a car full of girls flash you on the highway
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2. When I finally win an argument against my wife
3. When the girl next to me asks the teacher why water doesn't fall down at the "bottom" of the earth
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4. Whenever I turn on my phone or laptop in the middle of the night
5. When someone passes me with the exact same perfume as my ex
6. Walking down the street with my girl and another couple passes us, and I turn my head to check the other girls ass only to find her boyfriend doing the same
7. When I let out a slient fart while leaving my friend's room.
8. When the sun sets at 4:30
9. When my girlfriend says she missed her period
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10. When I find out the muscular, attractive douchebag at my work is also fluent in 6 languages and has a PhD.
11. When I open an incognito window
12. When my friend asks me how I'm doing since I finished college and didn't move back home
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13. When I see myself on video and realize that's what I look like
15. When I got mad at my dogs for barking so loud only to find out there was a robbery right next door.
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16. In middle school, when the teacher said, "Today we're going to watch a movie."
17. When I ask myself if I really do need to eat one more slice
18. When my friend drunkenly tells me he loves me!
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19. When my girlfriend finally gets her period after being a few days late.
20. When my wife goes to the store and leaves me with the kids for 30 minutes
21. When our friend gets back together with his cheating ex and says "It'll be different this time".
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22. When I get out of the shower and trying to decide if I can make it back to my room without any clothes on or if I should wear a towel
23. When a girl proudly says her boyfriend doesn't watch porn
24. When I open a porn video and forgot that speakers are on MAX
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25. When my sister had her 4th unplanned kid
26. My friends when I tell them I touch myself in the living room
27. When The father-of-the-bride thinks his speech is a good time for a political rant
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