26 Masterminds Who Exacted Petty Revenge

1.

Driver gets mad about traffic and gives me the finger.I was driving home from work on the freeway one late afternoon. Like a typical day in Los Angeles, there was a lot of traffic. I’m driving along and there’s this minivan behind me that starts tailgating me. It’s not like I can go any faster so I ignore it. Then the car proceeds to start honking. Still nothing I can really do. The driver than cuts to the lane next to me, rolls down her window, starts yelling and gives me the middle finger. I usually ignore stuff like this, but I was pretty annoyed at this point so I rolled down my window. I point at her tire while she’s yelling at me and yell “You have a flat.” She’s still yelling at this point so I say it again. She’s shocked and proceeds to pull off to the side. I watch her in my rear view mirror from a distance as she gets out to inspect her perfectly fine tire.

2.

Small revenge against hoarders.Saw a couple who had filled their trolley with toilet roll arguing with an elderly couple who had asked for one packet because there wasn’t any on the shelves and they’d ran out. These 2 were a right piece of work and being quite abusive to the elderly couple. I went over to the elderly couple and told them to finish their shopping and that I would come and find them. They go off and arsehole couple carry on what they’re doing. When their backs are turned I grab 2 packets out of their trolley, go and find the elderly couple and give it to them. I then went and found a shop assistant and told them about arsehole couple being abusive to the elderly and when they get to the checkout their trolley is taken off them and they’re escorted out by security. This has made me extremely happy.

3.

You say dogs barking is just what dogs do huh?I had a neighbor that had a dog that I s**t you not, barked from bout 7pm til 5am NON STOP. They worked nights I believe. They kept it outside. I knocked numerous times, and they said: "Dogs bark, what do you expect?"Their house was directly behind mine, we shared a divided wall. I recorded their dog for a full day. The minute they brought him in, and felt like they were sleeping, I popped my phone into the dock and played it on my stereo full blast facing their yard at 9am.They came over raving mad to my wall by about 12, asking me to shut my dog up. I said "Its your dog, I recorded him, since you miss out on what dogs do. I'm just playing the radio at normal allowable city time and I will do this everyday."They started bringing the dog in at night after that.

4.

Say goodbye to your cheque!Short and sweet - I was waiting in line at the bank. They have you line up outside, not a problem. This particular day it was a bit windy, again not a problem... for me.A guy gets out of his car, cheque in hand. You know where this is going, ha. The wind whips the cheque from his hands and somehow I managed to step on it as it scooted by me.I wasn't really expecting a thank you to be honest, but what I definitely wasn't expecting was the guy to chew me out for dirtying up his cheque. "Thanks for stepping on my cheque, the bank probably won't accept it now"Call me an asshole but I lifted my foot up and let it blow away in the wind down the street and said "well they definitely won't accept it now."The guy flipped his s**t as he was chasing it down the street and I got called up as next in line. Sorry not sorry.

5.

I have a friend whose pumpkinfall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. happened every year. my friend decided to put a stop to it.he withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest punkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.the jackass broke the axle of his shotty car when he hit that pumpkin. could not drive away. my friend had his car towed away, too.

6.

My roommate enjoys nice long showers in the morning using all of the hot water. I realized that he literally jumps out of bed and runs into the bathroom when he hears my alarm. I started putting my alarm on silence for a while and this was working well enough but I still missed my morning shower several times because of their unreasonable long showers. So I just started moving to two alarms one alarm about an hour and a half before I normally get up. This has caused him for about two weeks now to get up really early run the hot water out and be out with enough time for it to be warm again. Small victories are nice.

7.

Neighbor won't turn his flood lights off.Some years ago we had some new neighbors move in next door. Nice enough people but we had a problem with them. The husband traveled a lot and his wife was afraid of just about everything, the dark, thunderstorms, you name it. The problem was the flood lights over their garage doors. She would leave them on all night, every night, even though you couldn't see them from inside of their house. They were positioned such that they would shine into our bedroom at night. We were not able to block them effectively with our curtains. We asked them politely several times if they could turn them off at night since they served no effective purpose. They adamantly refused. I offered to pay for a timer that would control them. No way they would consider it. I thought about taking the bulbs out, shooting them out with my pellet gun, etc.

The solution that I arrived at was to simply loosen them up enough that they wouldn't come on. Since they couldn't see them from inside the house it was about 5-6 months before they realized that they were not working. They screwed them back in. I waited a couple of weeks and unscrewed them again. Another few months went by. Finally, one day, my neighbor asked me if I ever had any trouble with my outdoor lights. I told him yes, as a matter of fact I did. I said that they would loosen up occasionally and I would have to retighten them. I blamed it on vibration from the traffic on our street. He said that he had the same problem. I told him that I finally just gave up and left them off. He eventually did the same. We were happy with the final outcome and we were able to keep peace in the neighborhood.

8.

You can have the furniture but I'm taking the hex keys & screws!My ex and I broke up. We lived together. I sold most of my furniture to keep his, and we used that money to buy new things for the apartment like decor & bar stools for the kitchen. He not only wanted to keep all of his furniture, but 50% of the stuff we bought together. Tried to explain that everything became ours 50/50 when I sold my stuff to keep his. It wasn't worth fighting over, he was being pretty vindictive, so I said f**k it and let him take it all. I ended up with a desk, a rug, 2 bar stools, and some kitchen & decor items. He took all the electronics including TV, couch, coffee table, tv stand, bed & bedframe, etc. All of the really important and/or expensive items. He also returned all the gifts he got me for Christmas/my bday, but kept his Christmas gifts (more like, left me the boxes but took the items out of them).My petty revenge... Most of the furniture was Ikea. All of it being built with hex keys. I helped him disassemble his furniture for the movers. Then, I took his entire bag of hex keys & hardware (the screws and whatnot). He put the furniture in storage so he won't notice for another month at least. Replacing the hex keys is pretty simple, but good luck tracking down the exact screws and brackets and etc!!

9.

My mum and her friend had a massive fight, and my mum's friend sent a letter to my mum scolding her and pretty much saying "We're no longer friends" and my mum, as an Ex-Teacher, took out a red pen, corrected all the spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes, and mailed it right back to her

10.

So, you wanna snoop in your daughter's texts?So I'm married to a wonderful woman. She's smart, funny and very kind.Her mother is generally very nice and tends to have a great attitude and be very enjoyable, a bit of a prude but generally enjoyable, however can be a bit of a major snoop. If my wife leaves her phone sitting around she will just pick it up and start going through it. My wife has kind of laughed this off as a remnant of her mom being controlling when she was a kid.I'm not a fan of this because my wife and I will sometimes text about thing that simply don't involve her mother and I don't feel are hee business at all.So over Christmas my I saw my wife set her phone down on the kitchen counter and I had a brilliant idea.

Her mom was still in the kitchen and I sent my wife the most sexually depraved text about all the things I was going to do to her when everyone left. (Honestly most of them are things we haven't even done, but I had to make it extra scarring ...)I sent this text from the bathroom. And maybe it was my imagination but I could swear I could hear an audible ghasp shortly after her phone went off.When I went out her mother absolutely would not look me in the eye. Then not-so-discreetly asked her daughter to come talk to her in the other room.When my wife came back into the living room I thought she had been crying, however upon closer inspection she was laughing. Her mother had questioned her about me sexually abusing her and if I always talk down to her like that.My wife had told her kindly that what we do is between us and us only. Probably the best gift this christmas.

11.

Mom won’t believe nsfw site was popup ad, son “shows” her it can happen to anyone.When I was a kid my mom caught me looking at a porn site and I claimed it was a popup but she clearly didn't believe me. A few days later when she wasn't looking I pulled the same site up on her work laptop and hid it behind her browser window and pretended to catch her in the act when she closed her browser and the porn site showed up on her screen. She was flabbergasted and claimed it was a popup and I was all "yeah right because that apparently doesn't happen" and she apologized for not believing me before.I was f***ing diabolical

12.

Take my parking spot?? What goes around comes around.This may be the pettiest thing I have ever done.So in my city there is a pub that's attached to a doughnut shop that serves the best doughnuts in the city (which always causes a long line). Because its attached to a pub, it doesn't close shop until 9PM as there is a solid flow of business rolling in.Anyway, my girlfriend and I get a serious hankering for some snacks so we decide to head to the doughnut shop and arrive out around 8:30 P:M by car. Now, there are only three parallel parking spots a little up the street from the place, and they are all 15-minute spots which are usually full. We see up the street that, count our lucky stars, a spot is free! My girlfriend pulls a little ahead of the car in front of the spot, turns on her indicator, and begins backing into parking spot when this little white vespa driving behind us whips into the spot.

I roll down our window and call out to the driver "Scuse me, we were just backing in". The driver seems to be a pretty univ student who shrugs her shoulders and calls out to me "sorry, first come first serve!" while her and her friend share a good laugh.My girlfriend suggests we just get doughnuts another time, and I tell her she can drop me off here, Ill buy the doughnuts since I know what she likes, and she can loop around. She agrees, and I pop out of the car, pass the little white vespa where the girls are still gathering their things, and head to the shop. As always, the line is super long for doughnuts and since this is the last batch, the doughnuts are slim pickins. The girls are behind me looking at the 5 or so different flavors that are left, talking about which ones are best and which they havent had yet.

I hear one of them jokingly mention "thank god we got a parking spot" and they burst out laughing. I get to the front of the line, and when asked for my order, request two dozen doughnuts, which is every last one remaining. The girls behind me didnt listen to what I ordered, but eyebrows of confusion started to form on their faces and they slowly saw each doughnut loaded into the boxes and their options dwindle.One of them (the driver) in desperation asked the baker who was loading them in "what, you're not even gonna save a few for us though?" to which I turned around and said "sorry, first come first serve". She honestly looked like she just simultaneously solved a movie mystery and s**t her pants, its difficult to put into words but truly an expression I can never forget.Best doughnuts I ever tasted (and enjoyed by the rest of my office the next morning)

13.

Teacher denies bathroom privilege, student asserts his dominance.I originally posted this as a comment on another post, but my SO thought it was worth sharing as a standalone. I'm adding a bit more detail and correcting some spelling and grammar. Also, posting from mobile, so apologies for formatting. Context: This happened in the early 90's and at the time the teacher had been teaching for 30 plus years. It was a rural area, so many of my friends parents had also suffered through at least one year of primary school with this awful woman. I've seen a grown woman cry recounting memories of her experiences --she was really that bad.My second grade teacher took pride in being a mean old cunt to her students. Wielding control over our tiny little bladders was something that gave her a particular satisfaction. One day during cursive lessons this kid named Joseph asked to use the bathroom. She told him he should've used the bathroom during morning recess and would have to wait until lunch.

A little while later he started squirming in his seat and again asked to use the bathroom, this time with more urgency. At this point our teacher starts berating the kid by telling him he is a little baby for not holding his bladder like a big boy and suggesting that he should wear diapers. Joseph gets tired of her s**t, stands up from his seat, stares her directly in the eye and proceeds to unleash the most epic man-sized piss he could muster. As fate would have it he was wearing those mesh material basketball shorts so the piss just flowed unobstructed down his legs and pooled on the carpet beneath him. A wave of giggling quickly spread through the classroom, which was basically the second grade equivalent of a slow clap. Our teacher just stood there dumbfounded for a moment before grabbing Joseph by the arm and dragging him off to the principal's office. As they exited the room Joseph glanced over his shoulder with a big grin on his face.A legend was born that day and we all enjoyed our newfound bathroom privileges for the remainder of the school year. Teacher retired the following year.

14.

I put a fake note on a Corvettes windshield that read "Sorry I hit your car, you probably won't even notice the damage" because it was taking up four spots.So title is fairly self explanatory but I'll elaborate. I was trying to find a parking spot at my university. The lot was notoriously crowded but my campus didn't have a lot of options. While searching, I saw a Corvette taking up FOUR prime spots near the front of the lot. After about ten minutes of waiting/looking for a spot one opened up towards the back of the lot. Furious at the nerve of the driver being so inconsiderate, I wrote a note saying, "Sorry I hit your car, you probably won't even notice the damage" and left it on their windshield. When I got out of class and was headed back to my car, I saw a very stereotypical college aged Corvette owner frantically searching their vehicle while yelling into their phone. I don't know who they were talking to, but I feel bad for them having to deal with this person.

15.

Neighbor took my parking spot after I shoveled. I poured water in his windshield.It was a cold winter day. 8 inches of snow had fallen the night before, and the windchill made it feel as if it were in the negatives (Fahrenheit). I drive an all wheel drive SUV so I have no issues getting out. My wife on the other hand drives a Prius, which slides with the smallest amount of moisture on the road.My car was down at the time, so we had to take my wife’s car. I spent 45 minutes in the freezing cold shoveling that car out so we could get to the store. We were gone for an hour, and when we came back, our neighbor had taken the spot I had shoveled.Our apartment complex doesn’t have assigned parking, but in the winter, it’s understood that if you shovel a spot, it’s yours. So when I saw his car in the spot I had just shoveled, I was pretty pissed.I went inside and filled two gallon jugs of water. Went back out and poured them on his windshield. Rinse and repeat. I must have poured about ten gallons of water on his car. Being how cold it was, it was already freezing by the time I poured the last gallon on. It sat like that overnight.The next morning, I got to watch as he helplessly tried to scrape all of these layers of ice off his windshield.Don’t take my goddamn parking spot.

16.

I published a poem about my ex in a literary magazine he'd been trying to get in to for years.We were both in high school, and at the end of the relationship he told me he was "just in it for the sex" that he "didn't really mean any of it", and that I obviously "just wanted him because I was horny". He then went and had a hot and heavy make out sess with my best friend and came back and told me I was "a bad kisser compared to her". Yeah, he was a jerk.Well, flash back to a few months previous. I was angry at him because he was being really hot and cold and so I wrote an angry poem about him. The magazine he had been trying to get into had a website and would publish poems based off of popularity on the website. He had gotten me to join a few months previous and I only had a few poems up. I decided against posting it then because it would "be too mean".Well after he had pulled that s**t I decided I wanted a little revenge. So I posted the poem. And suddenly it was getting A LOT of popularity. And I get a notification from the magazine saying they want to publish it. So what was the first thing I did? Messaged him that I got published in this magazine. He got excited for me and congratulated me, until... he read the poem.Several million people have read the poem in the magazine, and to this day, he still hasn't gotten published.

17.

Dad got decade long revenge on my aunty.A little set-up: My dad is one of 9 children to my grandparents. When the oldest sister (my aunty) let's call her Margaret got married, one of the gifts she received was four very poorly made clay pots from one of her friends who wasn't super close to the family. They were all very different to each other and didn't match at all. I assume they came out of a first-timers pottery class or something.Anyway, fast forward 15 years and my parents are getting married. Margaret shows up at the wedding. As does everyone else. The ceremony and reception pass with no dramas and everyone goes home.The following week my parents begin to sort through all their wedding gifts. Unwrap Margarets to find a very old worn-looking cardboard box with the old tape still underneath the new tape put on there by Margaret to hold the lid closed.

Dad opens the box to see the 4 pots that had been given to Margaret 15 years prior. My parents knew this was a gift to Margaret originally because at the bottom of the box was a cord of congratulations on your wedding... addressed to Margaret. She hadn't even bothered to take the pots out of the box when she was gifted them or checked the condition when rewrapping them. This thoroughly pissed off my dad.Then his anger turned to determination as he started to develop a plan that would stretch almost a decade.With Christmas fast approaching my dad rewrapped the pots in the same box with the same wedding card addressed to Margaret. essentially in the same condition he had received it in. He then wrote another card addressed to another of his siblings explaining his plan. He gave the present to the youngest of his siblings, the newer card explained that she was to hold on to the pots until the next Christmas, making sure to unwrap it and make sure that everyone could see the pots in one way or another. the card then explained to leave the wedding card in the box and to not let anyone see it.

My aunty would then hold on to the box, pots and card until next Christmas. She would then gift them and my dads note to the next sibling above her in age (my uncle). This cycle would repeat another 8 times until it reached the oldest sibling. Margaret. In my dad's letter, it instructed the last sibling before Margaret to not give her the letter written by him regarding the plan.9 years after giving the gift away. My dad and all his siblings watched as she pulled out the pots that she had seen being passed around from sister to brother to sister for the last decade. She then noticed the note still in the box. She opened it and a category 4.2 earthquake was registered as her jaw hit the floor.Now, most people would expect her to erupt in rage but Australians have some of the best senses of humour on the planet. The family all had a good chuckle about it and moved on to Christmas lunch. The pots are now separated. one going to my dad, Margaret, my grandparents and the last being the trophy of the annual cricket game. It was sadly destroyed by a rouge ball in that very same yearly tournament and is now only half a trophy.Hope you enjoyed.

18.

We were kids staying at the seaside on holiday with our family. My little sister would always make a pretty sandcastle, and the next day it would have been kicked down and she'd cry. We wanted to find out who was doing it, so one day we stayed behind to spy. We watched as a bunch of jerk older boys came by and kicked her castle down, laughing smugly. So the next night, we covered a big beach rock in sand and decorated it. Like clockwork, the jerk kids came with their smug faces and this time kicked a solid rock with all of their might. The yowl and the look on their faces was the best revenge ever.

19.

Grumpy neighbors ruined my birthday, my dad never let them enjoy their backyard ever again.Just came across this sub & thought of this story instantly.We are going a ways back here, think I was 8yo so that puts this story in the late 90’s.I grew up on a busy street in a suburb, all the houses are basically right next to each other.On one side of the house we had the grumpiest most miserable old couple in their 70’s as neighbors.We have a big family & enjoyed cook outs during the summer months. They hated us having parties & we weren’t even doing anything out of the ordinary. Just the type of people that would bitch about basically anything for no good reason.Well it’s my 8th birthday party & we have our typical big family get together. Well my favorite gift that year ended up being a globe trotters basketball. We had a hoop & had a blast playing around.

Eventually the day goes sideways when my ball bounces over grouchy neighbors fence. All that separates our driveway/basketball court from their backyard is a stockade fence. Well asshole neighbor was outside, proceeds to grab the ball take it into his shed & stab it with a screw driver.I’d never seen my father so angry in my life. But he’s not an idiot & didn’t do anything stupid.From that day on he never let them enjoy their backyard ever again. We could see their yard from our house & anytime they would go outside he would go outback crank up his air compressor in the garage & slam a basketball against the backboard as hard as he could until they went inside. Didn’t even pretend for a second he was doing anything but making as much noise as possible.He never gave up, never stopped until the grumpy guy eventually died 2 yrs later.We take petty revenge seriously in this family.Thanks Pops

20.

Use my email, face the consequences.I have a remarkably simple email address, something similar to a JohnSmith at gmail. I got in on the early beta for Gmail. The problem with this is there is one person in TX and another in California that insist on using my email address as their own. I have attempted to reply all to group messages asking these peoples friends and family to contact this person and politely ask them to stop using my email address. After several months of this, I gave up and settled for petty revenge:Oh, you booked a service at the dealership? let’s just cancel that. Rental car reservation? Nope, don’t know what happened to that. I stopped short of cancelling a Doctor’s appointment on them, but I think they finally figured it out.

21.

Roommate was stealing my marked leftovers. Made a chocolate cake with habanero peppers, labeled it with my name, and wrecked his world.Title is pretty straightforward but I'll elaborate. My old college roommate didn't know how to cook or do dishes and didn't go food shopping much. This led to him eating my food, especially my leftovers as those were prepared meals. I would use my leftovers to meal prep for the week, and told him to stop as it was expensive as well as inconvenient. The behavior did not stop and he actually seemed to be eating more of my food out of spite. To punish him, I baked a chocolate cake with habanero peppers and mixed the frosting with wasabi. I labled it with my name and a bold "Do Not Eat" and waited.

This guy has a very low tolerance for spicy foods so I thought he would take one bite quickly realize the error of his ways. About two days later, him and a couple of his friends got really drunk while I was at work and decided to dig into my food. Somehow, they ate about a third of it before realizing, and when they inevitable went to throw up from over drinking and eating spicy foods, got hit by the cake a 2nd time. Don't know for sure but it couldn't have felt good coming out the backend. When he asked me why I made this monstrosity I told him I found a chocolate habanero recipe online that I wanted to try. He stopped eating my cooking after that.

22.

Caused my food stealing roommate to make his mom cry.So this happened way back in 2013.I was living in a large space with 5 roommates. One of my roommates was know for borrowing food including expensive stuff like meat but never replacing it.Well one day I knew his mother was coming to visit and stay a few days and his mom absolutely loved horses, so what I decided to do was bait this roommate with horse meat.It’s not common in the US but legal to buy imported so I acquired some nice thin cuts and I sliced most of it and salted and left in a Tupperware I the fridge while I went it the rest of the package with the horse meat store label in the freezer.Well sure enough in the evening I noticed some of the horse is gone so I make a big deal about someone stealing some of my horse meat in front of his mom.They go ‘haha. Very funny. Sure it’s horse meat.’ And my roommate owns up to borrowing some meat he used to make him and his mom steak and eggs for breakfast and lies that he’ll replace it. That’s when I pull out the package from the freezer and prove it was in fact horse meat and his mom burst into tears crying to her son ‘how could you feed me horse.’He definitely at least stopped borrowing my meat after that.

23.

My husband can NOT make a fire in the fire place. I refuse to make a fire in the fireplace even though I can.He has tried and every time they go out within 30 min. It is low key hilarious. I can make a fire. I grew up in New England, long miserable cold winters. I know how to make a fire.However, when I advised him, he shushed me. My dear husband. The man I love shushed me. So, now I refuse to make a fire. I literally just watch this man make a fire and re-make a fire all day, for the past 4 days and you know what? I am going to continue and let him struggle as I sip my tea and keep my mouth shut.Eventually, I will make a fire but I’m going to wait until he is so frustrated he's cursing in his mother tongue. He’s not quite there yet.

24.

Take my parking spot that i just dug out? Fine, I'll bury your carThis happened a couple years ago. It had snowed a bunch and so I went out to clear a spot for my boyfriend at the time for when he got home from work (police officer). I spent a while digging it out, and as I was finishing up some girl drove up and parked in it (while I was still shoveling it!). I told her that I just dug it out intending to use it and asked her to move, and she didn't. She then got out of her car and walked away... Turns out she lived two buildings down so she normally wouldn't park there anyways!Our complex had a mini snow plow and the dude was plowing in the area and saw this all go down. He helped me move all the snow from the pile he just created and put it all around her car. We buried it up to the door handles on all sides. He then dug out a new spot for me.Saw her later trying to dig out her car, turns out she didn't have a shovel. So, naturally, bc I'm petty I went out and reshovelled the sidewalk from the lot up to our building, and threw all of the snow on her vehicle while I did it. Then went inside and took my shovel with me.

25.

City tries to fine me for not mowing my lawn. So I threaten the city with a fine for not mowing theirs.The city would send me letters telling me my lawn was too tall and that if I don't mow it they'll send out a contractor to mow it at a price of something like $50/sqft. So I stopped mowing their lawn. My property ended 15 feet before the curb. Not a 15’ easement, it ended there. My easement was 10’ back from that meaning 25’ from the curb.Then after it got too high, I copy pasta’d their letter to me and certified mailed it back to the city. They also sent me a letter saying I needed to mow it at about the same time.I looked up my plat in the county records and referenced it back to them. Took pictures with a tape measure and reiterated that if they don't take action soon I’m going to hire a contractor to mow it and charge them the same absurd rate they were going to charge me.About a week later I come home from work and it’s been mowed. No bill just mowed. So I continued not mowing that 15’x50’ strip of grass for the next 5 or so years I lived there. I had even hired a kid to mow for me as I’d gotten too busy and very specifically told him not to mow that strip.

26.

Calling her “fake quitting” bluff.This happened years ago but still makes me smile. I started working in a corporate office in a secretarial position for my first job after college. There were two older ladies who were also secretaries working in the office. One of them was just fine, but I spent most of my time sitting beside and working with Agnes. Agnes was quickly approaching retirement age but wasn’t going anywhere without a big push. This was in the days where we just started getting computers and she was absolutely hopeless. She’d pull stuff like “I can’t answer the phone - I’m on the computer.” Multi-tasking was not in this woman’s repertoire. She was super fussy, and annoying. If I ever came back from lunch 5 minutes late, she would exclaim loudly “OMG - there you are! I was wondering what had happened to you!”, making sure the whole office knew I was late. Meanwhile, she was usually late coming in in the morning, and often left early for various appointments.

If I made a typo in a document, she would make sure the rest of the staff knew about it, loudly.She tended to pout when when things didn’t go her way, and she would “quit” her job when someone pissed her off, and then my boss’s boss would talk her into staying. I’d heard about this tactic of hers and one day, our boss did something that annoyed her and she “quit” again. My boss’s boss was away that day so I had my chance. I quickly advertised and planned a big retirement party for her. It was a done deal by the end of the day. People were dropping by and congratulating her and everyone looked forward to the party. At that point, I guess she figured it was too late to pull her usual shenanigans and she actually retired. I told my boss to not bother replacing her because it was damn easy to cover the little work she actually accomplished every day.