ftw

26 Awesome Sex Tips To Get Your New Year Going

**Warning: Adult Themes** Sometimes the best sex advice can come from the strangest places, like your dad or an uncle, instead of from a sex ed class.
1. “My dad is a union painter, he always used to tell a joke that goes “Do you know why women love painters? Because we know it’s 90% prep, 10% finishing with long smooth strokes.”. Works for both painting a room flawlessly and satisfying a woman.”
Advertisement
2. “Sister-in-law told us to ditch the PJs and sleep naked. Frequency of sex increased almost immediately.”
3. “Sometimes you gonna bust in 2 pumps but don’t act ashamed and do your best to give you both a good time even if it happens. Also, comfort with a person makes your sex better. Both from dad, idk why he brought it up was kinda random at the time. But both have held true. I’ve came early twice, once I acted embarrassed the other time I laughed it off and kept going by other means, the latter was a positive experience, the former was not.”
Advertisement
4. “If you look hungry, you’re going to starve. Told to me by my older cousin when I started college”
5. “My sister told me to keep baby wipes next to the bed for the cleanup. It works so much better than Kleenex.”
6. “Never put your fingers somewhere you wouldn’t put your face.”
Advertisement
7. “When I would go out my Dad would tell me: “Behave. If you can’t behave be safe. If you can’t be safe, name it after me.”
8. “Put a pillow under her ass.” No idea where I heard it, but boy it does the trick!”
9. “Relax.”
Advertisement
10. “If the journey wasn’t better than the destination, don’t expect her to go traveling with you again. Told to me by my father, taken to heart by me, and beloved by my wife.”
11. “Your shlong shouldn’t go near her til she’s slick as a baby seal.” by Tormund Giantsbane”
12. “The decision to have sex should be a win-win for both parties. If you have to trick someone into bed, you haven’t made yourself valuable enough.” A professor of psychology and economics”
Advertisement
13. “My grandad when I was 12. “If you can cook & make them laugh you’re already halfway up their leg. The rest’s up to you,don’t fuck it up”
14. “I never got any in-person sex advice but Nina Hartley’s video about how to go down on a girl. Solid freaking gold and the most useful instructional video ever.”
15. “Tell him exactly what you want him to do – a guy I was casually seeing. After two long-term relationships (3 Years & 4 years) with 0 orgasms, this little tip made orgasms regular with my current BF. Seems obvious, but I know lots of other women who have experienced something similar.”
Advertisement
16. “Make some noise”
17. “Never decide for someone else that they are too good for you.”
18. “The more you worry about sex the less you’ll get it.”
Advertisement
19. “Always make her pee after sex”
20. “Always use a condom, otherwise you have an accident and have to name it. Thanks Dad.”
21. “Stop trying to suck it like they do in porn. Find your own style and comfort level and it’s a win/win. I used to be so awkward and now I actually enjoy doing it. Also enjoying it is half the battle. Men like it much more when there’s some enthusiasm!”
Advertisement
22. “I tell my kids, “If you think getting a condom ruins the mood, imagine what a crying baby will do for it.”
23. “Her enjoying sex means she will want you again. Focus on her now, she will please you more later”
24. “Never be a dead f*ck.”
Advertisement
25. “oral – no teeth, lots of slobber, make it look really fun, and do it for him regularly. — College FWB.”
26. “My grandpa told me that I should always date women with small hands so that when they hold my dick it would look big in their tiny hands.”
Uploaded
23
47,892
Views
4
Comments
2
Favorites
Next

Next on eBaum's

No Articles Found
No Articles Found
Sorry, we were unable to load more articles
Congratulations! You've reached the end of the never-ending list.
{if(/video|article/i.test(wData.articleType);}
Menu search Account Home Video Gallery Article Contest Newest NEW Popular Forums Spicy Games Picture wiFunny Feels Creepy WTF! FTW! WOW! wiEww Facepalm Ouch Blog pinterest Contest Winner Contest Finalist facebook pinterest twitter whatsapp email user views user comments user favorites Next Article List View