25 Wedding Moments of Unholy WTF-Levels

1.

“The morning after the wedding at campfire coffee the new bride turned to the groom asked, "Are you going to wear your ring everyday because it kinda makes you look like a fa**ot?" Those of us there side glanced and took deep sips of coffee.. I think it lasted 4-6 months.” - billy_biceps

2.

“One of my good friends got married and I'd never met her before the wedding because "she's just shy." On the wedding day, she was belligerently drunk before the ceremony even started and couldn't even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. "I promise to love you"). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her. They lasted about 4 months.” - irrelevant_usernam3

3.

Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other. Best Man's speech was all about how hard it was to be married. "I've been married for a year and it feels like 100 years." Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says "Ditto." It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down. Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with. How happy the family was to have the groom join their family. Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year. Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later. I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple. For me the complex backstory. Bride's brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years. At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn't marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that. When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I'd think of that night. The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not. He's married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.” - designgoddess

4.

“A fun light-hearted dance with the groom followed by a close and slow dance with her male best friend.” - codyish

5.

“He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception. He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered. They had to hold a cold pak to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.” - blackhart452

6.

“When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.” - csdirty

7.

“When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the "for richer or poorer" part and she said "for richer or richer and maybe for poorer." The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.” - crm115

8.

“He got so f**ked up at the reception he had a fist fight with her cousin in the toilets over coke. He told all the other cousins to fuck off. He hit on my aunt. He told my cousins child to come back to him when she was 15/16. And he forgot to bring his child to the hotel.” - TheAdminAreEvil

9.

“Source: My Wedding. We'll start three days before. The wedding was a ren-fair style wedding outside at a large gazebo and the Maid of honor had promised to purchase a stylized dress for my bride that they had agreed on. THREE DAYS before the wedding she calls to tell us she had no money and was embarrased to admit it....so we literally hand-sewed ont together in 24 hours. IMO it turned out pretty nice for what we had… Brides mother was supposed to pick up the cake in ATX and drive an hour south for the wedding. She left her house 30 minutes before the wedding to pick it up. When she finally showed up (hour late) the cake was DESTROYED....she put it in the back seat and drove like hell all the way down, just slamming it against box with every turn. During the one hour delay, there was almost a fist fight between two groomsmen because....well the MoH showed up, IN THE DRESS THAT SHE WAS 'UNABLE TO AFFORD'. Obvious attempt to upstage the bride. The same MoH during her speech after the ceremony started it of by saying 'When we all met, I did not like Drakkarim411 at all, however I found that he grows on you...like a fungus.' Needless to say my entire side of the family was super cold to all of this. Since all of these issues were on her side of friendships or families, I was told to suck it up and we'll discuss later. I sort of assumed that a lot of these 'friends' had just shown themselves the door. Quite the opposite. In fact, two years later when I accepted my first well paying job out of college, it became an issue that it was an hour and a half out of Austin...so she decided to just stay in ATX to be with her friends. ...I mailed her the divorce papers and since she couldn't be bothered to even show up to the hearing....I've never seen her again.” - Drakkarim411

10.

“She told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn’t like him and that he was AWFUL in bed. She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner combo. Then she sobbed the ENTIRE morning, day-of. She ended up not getting any makeup done cause she wouldn’t stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding ~35 minutes. She then said 45 minutes of “vows” that she had prepared (9 pages of things like inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them her husband), and then ALMOST didn’t say “I do”. Managed to get a, “uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do” out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say anything. I could go on for HOURS, but it was the most painful and awkward wedding I’ve ever been to. I’ve got my money on 10 months. We’re 1 month in.” - brbdead

11.

“Another one was my wife's friend. She's a very conservative, religious white girl who married a black man. Most of her racist family didn't approve of the marriage and didn't show up. But she planned the whole marriage around race. Like a vanilla cake for her and a chocolate cake for him, the wedding colors were black and white, and even the meals were white meat for her side and dark meat for his. It was extremely uncomfortable as a guest. They lasted 2 years (but broke up because he was abusive and almost killed her, rather than the weird racial tension).” - irrelevant_usernam3

12.

“Not at the wedding itself, but I used to work at a David's Bridal. Bride came in with tons of friends, we did the Say Yes To The Dress Thing, and an hour later she'd standing there in $3,000 worth of stuff and doesn't have any money with her or in her account. She decides she wants to apply for the store credit card, I run it through the system, and she gets denied. She then calls the groom for his info (which, to be fair, people did all the time), and he tells her no. She threw a HUGE fit on the phone with him, standing on the bridal stage, literally demanding "WHY NOT? WHY?! WHY!!" like an actual child over and over again. I've never seen a 30 year old age backwards so quickly. She was just a brat. Literally stomping her feet in front of me, all her friends, and the other bride in the store. *I* was embarassed. At the end of all of that, she hangs up on him and her friend is like "I'm so sorry you can't get your dress" and the bride stops crying instantly and just goes "Oh I'll get the dress. I just have to do this at home and when he gets mad enough he'll come get it for me so I'll stop." Speechless. Sure enough. Girl came back two days later with her man and he applied for the credit card and bought the dress. He was livid and silent, and she was smug as hell. Can't imagine they're having a happy marriage if they are still together.” - alsothebagel

13.

“I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!! My wife’s brother just got married this past May. Bride’s mother is a big DIY person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc… Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff. Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (grooms mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!! ) and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy. It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.” - WanderingRaindog

14.

“My wife got invited to a client's daughter's wedding. The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid-of-honour's toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of 'if it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's my best friend that's marrying you'. The best-man's speech was a lusty declaration of 'if it doesn't work out, call me, babe... like the previous time you called me.' Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was 'this close' to standing up during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' thing. I'm still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally fucked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.” - sharplescorner

15.

“When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle "I can make this work, right?"... They were divorced 6 months later.... my whole family knew it wasn't a good idea since the original engagement a year prior…” - IMgonnaDIE

16.

“I was maid of honour. Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff. Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (sth she's passionate about) to the officiary. She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn't laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back. They lasted 7 months.” - Kraken_of_BeverlyRd

17.

“Well here it goes…. My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating. The brides brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families. Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone. Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area. I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news. Lol they did not last long to say the least.” - mendoza327

18.

“Groom had surprise gifts scheduled to show up once an hour for the 8 hours prior to the wedding, with special meaning behind each one relating to relevant moments of their relationship. Bride was bitchy because some of them weren't up to her standards. They're currently in the "maybe if we have a baby, the immense increased stress will save our marriage" stage.” - CoderDispose

19.

“When the bride tried to playfully feed the groom some cake, pulling it back once it got close to his mouth. The third time she did this, he slapped it out of her hand and stormed off. In the ensuing awkward silence and wide-eyed staring, we all knew it wouldn't last. Surprisingly, they were together for nearly two years before the bride eloped away with her step-brother. No one saw that coming.” - grubychild

20.

“Prior to my wedding I’d asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I’m uncoordinated, due to a disability. He blew me off and said we’d be fine. As we were dancing, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly. “What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? You’re embarrassing me!!” We lasted 2 years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made.” - Edavis050694

21.

“My uncle when he broke his neck trying to breakdance on his stag do, He went down the aisle in a wheelchair. She divorced shortly after. He can walk again now but because of his surgery he cannot turn his neck. One of my go to stories because its insane.” - Byrdie55555

22.

“The groom showed up drunk after golfing with buddies all day. The bride in her vows said "For Richer"... left out the "poorer" - kellygrrrl328

23.

“Wedding videographer here, I think my favorite moment was when I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms and the girl next to me, the grooms ex, drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom a few months prior” - qwertyNopesir

24.

“I worked at a museum that also doubled as a wedding venue in the summers. As part of the wedding package, the museum would stay open after hours for the guests only so I’d just sit there and greet people basically. One wedding got particularly rowdy. Almost everyone was drunk, people were jumping into the fountain, someone vomited in said fountain. At one point, the bride is crying. Turns out the groom and one of his groomsmen were screwing upstairs in one of the bathrooms. A fight ensued between the groom and the father of the bride and cops were called because it really got ugly. Entertaining for me but I felt so bad for the bride.” - lacrimal_