Small Town Tall Tales That You Have to Read to Believe
2.
“Thousands of crabs washed ashore dead but nobody really knows why, I think they blamed wind turbines at one point. Dogs are now getting really sick and there’s warnings for people to stay away from the beach but nobody knows why it’s happening.” - MariahCareysButthole
3.
“The last thing that was super polarizing in my town was a painting on the front of a toy store called inland octopus in our downtown. It was an octopus playing with a bunch of toys. Well our town is very very strict about our old school downtown. They ordered them to paint over it with brick orange paint.
The store owner said hell no and it went to court for weeks. All the while the city was charging a huge fine every single day the painting stayed. A couple of the local millionaires kept paying the fine. They didn't care about the painting. They just liked the drama and like to stick it to the city. eventually the toy store lost and now its just a huge ugly brick orange wall in the middle of downtown. Us locals still talk about now and then. But at the time it was an uproar.” - Large-Statistician-3
4.
“While fleeing another hit and run, and possible DUI, some dude tried to go full speed directly thru the middle of our town square. The problem with that is we have a big historic fountain there. Traffic is usually supposed to swerve around the fountain, he did not. This dude in a white SUV ramps into our fountain, and smashes into the center pillar.
Thankfully the fountain was off for the winter, so there was less damage, but they still have no clue how, and how much money it's gonna take to fix this mess. The car was removed, but the fountain is still wrapped up in its tarp a month later. There's security cam footage of the ramp and it's all anyone could talk about for a few weeks.” - raven_1313
5.
“Car was spotted in a field burnt to a crisp on New Years Day. Found around noon since nobody was out and around. Farmer finally drove by and called the land owner to see if he knew about it, which he did not. Hearing that he approached the vehicle until he was about 20ft away and noticed a burnt body next to it. He then called 911. Nothing was known about who it was till a missing person was reported later that day, car and body were so burnt no identifying could be done immediately.
Two cameras caught the whole thing from local farm grain bins. Video showed the car in the field and then light moving as if it was stuck and trying to get out. Assumptions are the catalytic converter started the fire but no one knows for sure. All happened at around 2 am. Not much controversy but definitely the talk of the town. Funeral for the man was a week and a half ago.” - tomsdragon
6.
Nothing current but I have a great one from 5 years ago: So we had a guy who was quite the Libertarian. He owned a gun store in town and pretty much kept to himself. He will be known as LibGuy. The problem started when he decided to have chickens for his own eggs but he lived within the city proper which had a rule against farm animals within the city (this is a rural farming area I live in).
One of the city council members (he shall be known as A-hole) discovered he had chickens a few weeks after he got them and the city sent him a letter telling him he had to get rid of them. Well, he was not going to go down without a fight. So he spent some time looking into things and discovered the A-hole who reported him lived within the city and he also had chickens. Well, this of course caused a bit of a scandal. The city ended up claiming there was a grandfather clause for anyone who had livestock within the city prior to the rule change 17 years ago.
The problem with that was that clause applied to the A-hole's father, not the A-hole who lived at the same address. Needless to say, the war was on! A couple of weeks go by and the town cops are messing with Libguy over petty sh*t. Libguy somehow gets a recording of A-hole calling the police and lying to them about what Libguy was doing. Police now want to charge Libguy for some absurd ridiculous recording law that really doesn't apply since it was someone with the police dept who gave him the tape not that he stole it.
This gets blown up to the point where the bigger cities news crews are now showing up to city council meetings that are being called to address this issue. These meetings are getting absurdly blown out of proportion and in all honesty somewhat slimy in how the city is handling it. Libguy subpoenas the city council emails to show there was a concerted effort to f**k with him and cover for A-hole. Well in the course of getting the Emails it was discovered that there was a sexting issue going on between three of the city council members. LMAO, believe me when I say this did not involve people that would be considered sexy. All three (2 women and 1 male) were married, 200lbs plus, and in their 50's. I mean Emails about double-dildos, pegging, swinging...etc..It was hilarious. In the end, the Libguy got the last laugh.
He lost his chickens but found a loophole where he could actually own Llamas in the city since they were not considered livestock. So he put up a fence all around his yard (ugly chicken wire fence) just tall enough so the Llamas could not get out by jumping. People actually would go by walking their dogs and pet the Llamas. The problem though was that Llamas sh*t like cows and it stinks in such a small enclosure. This went on for about a year until he sold his house and moved (it stunk for at least a block around his property and he lived right behind the town's grocery store). Two of the council members involved got divorced over the sexting issue and the third one sold her bar because of it. This was the infamous chicken scandal that plagued my town of 4K for 3 years.” - blgiant
7.
“A woman known as a pretty awful person disappeared. "Everyone" knows it was probably her husband, but the family own's over 10,000 acres and no body has been found. The rest of her family is ramping up an awareness campaign so should be interesting to see where this all goes.” - Ordo_501
8.
“A guy wanted to bury his parents on their (parents’) slightly rural, totally out of the way, virtually-no-neighbors property, but the village said no way. We don’t do that here. We’re classy. So he went to the state for permission to build a funeral home/crematorium instead, and he built a giant mausoleum with both their caskets right on the corner of the property where everyone and their grandma can see it when they drive by! And he has zero plans to actually turn this into a functioning business. It’s about half done, no landscaping, and construction vehicles parked all over the place. Gotta hand it to him!” - Axel0812
9.
“I don't live in a small town but my small bit of the city were amused today. A woman posted in the local neighborhood Facebook group to say a woman had knocked on her door at 6:25am. The reason was she had tracked her missing husbands phone to the address. He had not come back the night before. The man was not there and the poster was a bit concerned. This led to much chat about burglaries and whether she should post the ring doorbell footage. A man then joined the thread to apologize. It was the missing man. He had got drunk at the football game and ended up falling asleep in the house next door to the woman who posted on Facebook. Much hilarity.” - choirleader
10.
“A couple promised a lot of cakes and fancy breads to the local festival, and didn't deliver. Everyone was mad at them for the last 2 weeks.” - ChangeWinter6643
11.
“A lady who has lived in the neighborhood forever has started losing her mind and is stealing lawn ornaments, pots, plants, etc from everyone else's yard. The police refuse to arrest her because the situation is sad. So every few months the police host a 'get back your sh*t' event and we just collect our things from her yard. It is surreal but I wish her the best.” - grizzljt
12.
“Some lady that owned a large flea market took 100k+ of covid "don't fire your employees" money, fired everyone and is now leaving the country all while thinking the town was lucky to have her.” - Cynoid
13.
“Town of about 1800. The girl's volleyball coach got a DWI. The school's principal went to pick her up from jail, and was arrested for DWI himself. Somehow it got out that these two (both married) were having an affair.” - stickshaker73
14.
“Not current but it needs to be documented in history - the serial Catnapper. A couple lost their cat so they went knocking door to door in our town, and came across their cat crying in a random home's front window. They call the police who arrive and find 50+ missing cats, along with a fucking graveyard of cats in the garden. Some that had been missing for up to 7 years. It culminated in the catnapper, a 50+ year old woman, stuffing as many cats as she could in a car and going on a police chase through our little town. Most of the cats were identified and taken home, a very small few went to rescue centres, and the catnapper is currently going under mental health treatment. Apparently she just took home any cat she saw while on a walk for the last 7 years. This happened about a couple years back but I had to tell the tale.” - Creditive
15.
“Two places make dill dip. One accused the other of stealing the recipe.” - duckswithbanjos
16.
“My country is the size of a small town. One problem at the moment is that we have these things called roundels they are kinda like roundabouts but no one has right of way and there’s no lanes you just drive where ever you want and people are getting super angry about it even though nothings bad happened since they opened them.” - RhysK2302
17.
“People here in my town of 396 still upset that the local Christmas tree was taken down and thrown away with all the lights still on it.” - Onlykitten
18.
“The woman who just got elected mayor owns most of the property downtown, and all the open seats on city council went to her employees. Can’t wait to see the corruption in action.” - Blanchypants
19.
“Small town with 3000 inhabitants. Everyone knows each other, everyone knows where everyone works, who is related to whom, and so on. Still, my cousin doesn't know who is the father of her child.” - mulberstedp
20.
“Swans in the local rivers/lakes have been dying from avian flu and we’ve all been warned to keep our dogs away from sick or dead swans in case infection spreads to humans.” - allywillow
21.
“About 2 years ago the mayor of the town I live in got caught with drunk driving his lawnmower down main street at around 2 AM about 6 weeks after being elected.” - ThatDude8129
22.
“The city I live in (around 10k residents or so) doesn't allow food trucks to operate outside of things like festivals. There has been a push to change that, and, coincidentally, majority of most vocal people against them are restaurant owners.” - grindstone_hollow
23.
“They just built a new Verizon in town, but someone started a rumor that it was also going to be a Panera Bread. Someone went as far as to mark it on Google Maps as a Panera, even though the building is clearly a single store with Verizon signage.” - KelsieK09876
24.
“This was a while ago and not limited to a small town but rather a section of highway. The highway patrol would always get a call to 9-1-1 for sheep grazing on the side of the road, by the time the cops showed up the sheep naturally started grazing someplace else and would no longer be there. This went on for months to the point where people thought it was a prank because there would be constant calls to 9-1-1 about sheep but when people got there there would be no sheep. There were stakeouts, a push for resources to locate the sheep, all sorts of phone calls all over the state to deal with the sheep. No car accidents happened to my knowledge because of the sheep but they kept showing up. One day one of the patrolmen started going around to the area and knocking on doors to see who even had sheep in the area, he never located them but since then the sheep have no longer been sighted.” - huggles7
25.
“They’re still trying to figure out who is Black. The village has 249 people. On the census everyone reported white except one person who reported biracial or something and now the demographics show that the town is .7% Black.” - Technical-Bet-2023
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