25 Small Hills People Are Willing to Die On

1. Girl Scout cookies are not as good as they used to be.

2. Squeeze the air out of a Ziploc bag before you put the bag in the fridge or freezer. I don't understand why my wife doesn't and one of these days I'll have a decision to make.

3. You need to put plates in the freezer before you put salads on them. You’ll never go back.

4. You should always use your signals when turning or changing lanes. If you don't, you're just lazy and the worst. Communicate what you plan to do with your screaming metal death trap before you are in the process of doing it!

5. Actual physical push buttons (tactile buttons) are way better than sensor buttons. Like on the Xbox 360 controller.

6. If you are on the highway and you try to move over two lanes to sneak into a packed exit right before the guard rail, you have already missed your f*cking turn. Go to the next exit and turn around or try another route. Before anyone brings it up, no, I am not talking about merging. I am talking about seeing a long line of people waiting to get off an exit, and you break the law by crossing solid lines to cut in because you couldn't be f*cked to read the signs for the last two miles telling you which lane you need to be in for your exit.

7. Speaker phone is not meant for use in public.

8. Frozen isn’t a Christmas or even a winter movie. It is literally set in the summer, a big part of the plot is that everyone was unprepared for the summer freeze. I will die on this hill.

9. It is “Should have” or “should’ve” not “should of”

10. Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip are not interchangeable, they are drastically different.

11. The parents from Parent Trap are WAAAY worse than the parents from Home Alone.

12. Turn signals should NEVER be red.

13. Polycarbonate water bottles don't contain any dangerous amount of BPA. It's a marketing ploy by Eastman to force people to use lower life cycle plastics. Tritan cracks at 2 years old, and polycarbonate lasts at least 20 years. They know polycarbonate is safe because we haven't stopped using it in high-impact kitchen appliances like food processors and blenders. They created sh*ttier plastic that hurts the environment to make more money. Cheap canned goods are literally lined with BPA. Polycarbonate bottles have fuck all to do with humans’ BPA exposure. If you own a polycarbonate water bottle keep using it, it has no BPA on it after the first time you wash it.

14. Everyday and every day are different. And not interchangeable. “An everyday walk in the park” vs “I walk in the park every day.”

15. Macaroons are not macarons. One has coconut, and one is a sandwich cookie.

16. Scrubs season 9 is really season 1 of a spin off and should not be considered as part of the original series.

17. Learn how to spell a name before you saddle a kid with it, for f*ck's sake.

18. There is no need for people to say 7 am in the morning. The use of “am” lets us know its morning

19. There's a difference between doing well and doing good.

20. Not all water is the same.

21. Greedo never even shot his blaster in the theatrical release of Star Wars. Han wasted that sucker before he even had the chance to pull the trigger.

22. It's not a hot water heater. It's a water heater.

23. Tall burgers completely nullify all the benefits of burgers, and are an abomination unto cuisine. A good burger is the perfect portable food. It should be edible using only your hands and mouth, without cutlery, and without making too much mess. You should also be able to sample every layer of ingredient in one bite, without dislocating your jaw

24. If you don't like being around others you're not "anti-social", you're asocial. Anti-social is the Joker. Incredibly petty and meaningless but this always bothers me for some reason

25. It’s “couldn’t care less” and not “could care less”.. this shouldn’t even be a question but you’d be surprised how many people are willing to die on the could care less hill.