Funny

25 People Expose 5-Star Hotels' Dirtiest Secrets

Here's a list for those who think the top-class, most expensive hotels are the most luxurious vacation resting places. Let's hear from former employees and workers about what the 5-star hotels hide from you.


Many of are more accustomed to our local Red Roof Inn than we are the 5-star diamonds that cost a quarter of a kidney per night to stay in, so it's unsurprising that -- behind the veil -- there's a lot of wacky sh*t going on we wouldn't normally know about. That's where a group of checked-out insiders come in handy!


Down below is a couple-dozen-strong collection of stories from insiders all too ready to spill the beans about the clandestine comings and goings of the world's most luxurious hotels.

1.

A friend of mine works for a small luxurious hotel in London.He told me the concerge system there is absolutely absurd. Money buys everything.Anything the clients want, clients get. They are told never to say no, worst case they say "I don't think this is really appropriate"Obviously drugs and escorts are a classic. He showed me 20 phone numbers of drug dealers in his phone to be able to get whatever drugs to the customers (he never buys though, only gets people in contact).And for harder tasks, he goes through professional concierges who charge A LOT.- You want a new Prada dress at 2AM for the party you are about to attend? Sure thing, let's wake a few people up, charge triple the price and split the benefit between people involved. Have a good night madam.- You want tickets for the Wimbledon final that takes place tomorrow? You have £20k? Enjoy the game, sir.But in some cases, they can't satisfy the customer. So when a couple of clients came back drunk asking him to have sex with the wife while the husband was watching and filming, he felt like it was a good time to say "I don't think this is really appropriate". - Eco-reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/nq9fjc/people_who_work_at_5_star_hotels_what_type_of/

2.

My husband worked at several luxury hotels and residences (rich people who live at the hotels) and besides how absolutely disgusting everything inside the rooms actually is...I was most shocked by the behavior of the ultra rich.I’m not talking businessmen and doctors. I’m talking Saudi Princes and Heirs to Dynasty families. The level of comfort and technology these people have come to expect is things we cannot imagine.“What do you mean there isn’t there access to intercoms next to the bathroom for when I need services while going potty?” “The television inside the shower is only a 40 inch and there is no gold in this room I need a better suite”. “I’m gonna need you to go out, buy me better bedding, remake my bed, and then do it again tomorrow because I won’t sleep on the same bedding twice”.And that’s just the tip of the icebergs. - SpaceCatMatingCall

3.

I spent 10 years in the boutique and 5 star hotel world. Got stories for days. But here is my favorite that sums up hospitality (former anyways).Our concierge was Les Clefs D'or, had all the connections, this dude could get you into the French Laundry same day. He would often greet guests with sangria and sprigs of mint from his garden. Sometimes he had lemon slices from his tree too! He loved to tell guests all about his garden and they ate it up.Yeah that's all bullshit. Mint, lemon, and any other garnish we got from the local grocery store. The sangria? Cheapest boxed stuff we could find. But he sold the story like no other. At the end of the day, it worked. - Duwinayo

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4.

Used to work in one two summers ago in a remote-ish place where we lived in accommodations across the street from the hotel. A lot of us have slept with each other (not me, had a gf at the time). And the busiest days are weekends, so we usually have Mondays off. Sundays were called Sunday Funday, where we would go to town or other people's "dorms", and do way too much coke. - Yunagi

5.

Here's one taken from the opposite end. I'm really bad at rolling joints. I left the shitty joint with my stash and papers on the dresser. I come back to a nicely rolled joint. I don't know if any was missing . But thank you Hard Rock LV staff. - J_Beyonder

6.

I am a subcontractor that works in the It business and the W hotel in Miami beach has seen some shit. One day I come in to work and there is a big scramble at the upper floors( that is were the penthouse are) Seems this kinda known millionaire, had a little too much coke and god knows what else and was destroying the room. He was actually throwing furniture out the balcony, ripped everything out of the fridge, might of even thrown a mattress out the balcony. It was a big deal at the time but they keep it hush with no police involved, a guy that’s paying 9k-13k a night is not going to be arrested. When the team finally got into the room, there was cocaine all over the tables, bottles everywhere, and a couple of high class call girls that were in true fear. Next day they book the same room to Jennifer Lopez. - vamptholem

7.

I worked at a Ritz Carlton a few years back, its literally the same as anywhere else. The hotel staff is amazing at their job, but on their personal time they're just as fucked as everyone else.The kitchen staff had a few folks with drug issues and had to be sent home a couple times because of it. In my time there I saw 2 waiters get fired due to embezzlement. The turnover rate for management was very high because they didn't pay enough for the area. The staff parties were WILD to say the least.We weren't allowed to greet celebrities by name since they wanted to be anonymous, so we would use their alias that day. Some were greeted by prostitutes or "escorts" who were always super nice to everyone. A regular would rent out a room for a day, once a month, and make 30-40k that day from clients. Celebrities, business guys, you name it. Crazy. - Mubly

8.

Bedbugs. Every single hotel from run down motels to 5-star resorts has dealt with bedbugs. - Soullikeether

9.

My SO worked for a fancy hotel. The building owners (not the chain, the actual building itself) came to visit. He was on the Forbes billionaire list.He was a nice man who had buffet lunches everyday and tipped every staff members he saw a crisp $100, every time he saw them.House keeper walking past? $100. Bar tender setting up? $100Shift swap? 100 on the way in and out. - paperconservation101

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10.

A lot of lonely people going on vacation to end their life. Happens a lot but is never mentioned on the news. - Cool-Lemon-7662

11.

Worked at the high end restaurant at a ski resort that hosts a famous film festival.Lots of sex in the walk in coolers, but never the people you'd want to walk in on. - johnnycakeAK

12.

Never trust glass in rooms. GRAs are so stretched thin on time that they will clean the glasses with the same rags they clean the bathroom, after all their goal is to make the room look clean.I worked as a GRA in a five diamond for years and there was over a year period that went by where we didn’t get a clean glass delivery. We didn’t have dishwashers in the room, so management was complicit. This was in a five diamond, one of the top resorts in the world. Never trust glass in hotel rooms. - WitcherOfWallStreet

13.

Didn’t work at one, but delivered newspapers to one.The prostitution thing was something the desk saw a lot. The best one was when the gentlemen got robbed by two young ladies and immediately demanded the front desk call the cops. When the desk asked if he wanted to call the cops and tell them he hired two hookers (illegal)... he suddenly just grunted and marched up to his room. - Who_dat_22

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14.

When we see 'instagram influencer' on your booking, we roll our eyes. - bhs1987

15.

At a certain Beverly Hills hotel, where I valet’d for a short amount of time, many stars cars are just left there. They come and get them whenever. There was also a code name for Justin Bieber who visited often (I can’t remember it). He picked it himself. His G-Wagon and a Bentley were just kept down there free of charge. Usher also left his bike there a few years back and has just never collected it. - Oddwrld

16.

Dead people. In some places there's a reasonable chance somebody has died in your bed. Obviously it varies with the type of hotel and its clientele, but some places you get deaths weekly (not that the hotel is unsafe but unfit old people over exerting themselves). One place I worked maybe 40% of the beds had been died in.Bedbugs. They happen in every hotel. You might be paying $5k a night but your luggage was in the hold with everyone else's. If there's only one or two bugs and none in the adjacent rooms (diamond style, so above, below, and both sides) then you brought them in.You know what I never saw happen? Maids stealing. Everyone always points at the maids when they lose stuff but we always found it. No way the maids are risking their jobs over your used iPad or mall jewelry. With tips they make pretty decent money. - KaneMomona

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17.

coke. lots of coke. - explainchampagne

18.

I worked at a 5 star hotel in England as a bartender. Hosted events and stuff. One thing that was common was my manager would just spam extra drinks onto the bill at events to make more money. Or for example if a big wedding ordered 50 bottles of champagne, they’d only give them 30 and would keep 20 back and if they ran out, they’d have to buy more. I reported this to Senior management and they just laughed saying it’s normal. I actually got told off for not taking part in this. - datguywilld

19.

What goes on the room next to you. This week we to evict and have arrested a couple for causing over $15K in damages to a room. This was done quietly late at night and the nearby rooms never found out. - counterslave

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20.

We don’t bat an eye at prostitution or whatever goes on in the rooms as long as it doesn’t affect other guests. Half the women that come to the bar are working girls looking for a sale. The only thing that the hotel industry ever really reports is human trafficking. There are tell tale signs and if something doesn’t add up we do report it to local authorities.I don’t know about all 5* hotels but I’m sure this happens at most of them. Front desk/reservation staff will basically stalk you online if you’re a notable VIP and your picture will be shared internally to ensure everyone recognizes you so you feel special when you arrive and everyone already knows who you are. - NaniBakaNani

21.

I was a valet in college at a very swanky resort. The members had a certain sticker on their car and the owners/partners have a black sticker (which I had no clue) but knew they belonged. When a guy pulled up in a very nice Benz I said, “welcome back (not knowing his name). He was so pissed that I didn’t know who he was, he was an ass to me but I couldn’t care less. Moments later another younger guy pulled up to valet and asked me what the guy said to me. I hesitantly said he was mad I had no idea who he was. The young guy (looked disappointed) and said “that’s my father and he is an a$$hole, don’t worry about him at all.” Then he gave me $20 to park his car and was extremely nice to every employee who ever interacted with him. - batmanlovespizza

22.

Not a 5 star hotel, but I worked at a Hilton in Seattle and we had a furry conventionOne of the cats pooped in the elevator - northwesthonkey

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23.

I use to work events at hotels and one time we had a guest break their wine glass inside a water refill barrel ... I left work for two weeks to go on vacation and when I came back, all the glass was still piled inside the water refill barrel. People must have been drinking out of it because there were events booked while I was gone - damien_gray

24.

LOTS of prostitution and all the drama/legal trouble that goes along with it. Corporate functions like conventions, parties, etc where there's an open bar almost always leads to something fucked up happening. One hotel I worked at hosted a Christmas party for an investment firm and two guys started jockeying for the affections of a female coworker. They all wound up on an elevator together and the guys started fighting, the elevator went in to safety lock down, we had to call the PD and the FD. One guy went in a squad car, one guy went in an ambulance, we had to give the woman some clothes from lost & found because he dress was covered in blood and the elevator was out of service for six hours to clean it up. There's always a ton of back of house drama, too. Especially among the execs and the junior managers. Affairs, backstabbing, a little light fraud. You know, the usual. - weirdoldhobo1978

25.

I don't work in one anymore, but used to. This isn't really shenanigans, but: the staff is not nearly so impressed by famous or rich people as some of them seemed to think we should be. It was a fancy hotel. We had rich and famous guests all the time. And it was usually the ones nowhere near the top of the ladder who tried to be the most imperious and expected the most deference. If you have to try to convince us you're high status, you aren't. We'd provide polite, professional service for all our guests and try to be helpful and accommodating, but being a C-list actor or whatever isn't going to get you a table in a full restaurant or an upgrade to the already-occupied fancier suites. And if there's a severe blizzard and the airport is closed, we can't open it for you because you're too special to have to wait to fly out. Even if you're a Very Important Businessman. - FranzLuciferdinand

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