25 Old-Redditors Reveal The Craziest Stories From The Past
1.
“There was that fun time we all "hacked" the Sears website like 12 years ago and it NEVER comes up in these threads. Basically, gfixler discovered you could visit a sears webpage with a url such as: sears.com/outdoors/outdoorappliances/chainsaws And edit to say:
Sears.com/cannibalsupplies/quickwaystokillbabies and the web address change would appear that way INSIDE the page. So we all started doing it, screenshotting it, sharing it, and giggling. Then someone noticed the programming on the website was so bad that what we were doing changed the code for EVERYONE. So then Reddit did it A LOT more and then sears shut down their site…” - sparkplugg19888
2.
“One time a guy was taking a shit. He proceeded to sneeze while the power went out at the exact same time. He freaked out because he thought he shit himself blind.” - Jakovage
3.
“If you're hiking deep in the woods and come across a staircase, just ignore it and keep your distance, ” - BobFlex
4.
“The one that always stuck with me is the guy who peed on a pregnancy test as a joke, and it came out positive so he posted the picture to r/funny or something similar. Amongst all the tomfoolery in the comments, a med student pipes up saying that OP should go see their doctor immediately.
Turns out that the hormone that pregnancy tests detect when produced by males, is a symptom of testicular cancer. IIRC the guy ended up catching it super early because of the thread and getting it removed before it became a problem.” - beer_is_tasty
5.
“The guy who got drunk and did an AMA asking himself his own questions in the comments then answering them himself” - iWatchedThis
6.
“The story of champ the goat. Originally told by u/stoicsmile about a goat who his company would rent out to eat shrubs and do landscaping.
I used to work for on a forestry and conservation crew. We tried to offer this service with the goat that for some reason hung out in the field next to our shop, which I guess we owned...maybe?
Anyway, the goat's name was Champ, and I wouldn't be surprised if we accidentally stole Champ at one point, because Champ hated to be alone, and if you left him alone, he would find a way through or over any enclosure you left him in and wander around until he found a companion. To Champ, a companion could be a person, a dog, a chicken, a bicycle, a basketball, anything that his little goat mind imagined was a living creature. He especially like things that seemed to have some kind of life or that made noise. Like generators and sump pumps.
So when we rented Champ out to people, we warned them that he needed some kind of company, or he would escape. We often recommended something like a blow-up pool toy or even just an open umbrella. Just something nearby that Champ could imagine was his friend.
Inevitably people would underestimate Champ's squirreling, and assume that their fence/tether/stone wall was sufficient to keep him where they wanted to be, and they would leave him alone. Then we'd have to go find Champ.
One time I found him in a scrapyard munching on weeds between rows of crushed cars. One time I found him curled up in the shade in a neighbor's yard with a Golden Retriever.
But I think the best was when he made his way onto an elementary school playground. We of course had a tag on his collar with a phone number to call if he was found since he went missing so much. And one day, we got a call from a school principal informing us that he had our goat. For those of you who don't know much about goats, they delight in climbing on things. So for Champ, there was no place more attractive than the very top of the metal play structure at this playground. The kids were absolutely smitten with him, and he was absolutely thrilled to have so many friends. And he was ecstatic to be at the top of the play structure too.
It wasn't until all the kids went inside after recess that we could get him down. I think it was the best day of his life.”
7.
“The saga of r/creepshots and how a student recognized his substitute teacher posting upskirts of teenaged classmates” - EvenTemperedChilds
8.
“The woman whose mother accidentally killed her daughter because she didn't believe that the little girl's coconut allergy was real.” - sati_lotus
9.
“When a Redditor asked for help because the language on their screen changed to Spanish. And everyone replied to it in Spanish.
Then OPs update was hilarious, UPDATE- So I wake up this morning to about 1500 replies in my inbox that I cannot read. And then I run them through Google translator and most of them say stuff like "the dog is in my pants" and "where is the library". Thanks, reddit.” - TimeMachineToaster
10.
“The guy whose very special brother loves this one specific Tonka truck from the nineties. It was a fire and rescue truck and his family finds them on ebay and buys him one every Christmas and it's the only thing be loves, and OP couldn't find one anywhere and came to reddit to ask if anyone had one in an attic or old toy box. Everyone was so helpful and the post was just a beautiful internet moment.” - Gahvandure2
11.
“The “What’s the worst thing someone has said you during sex?” talk dirty to me attempt https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq/” - SuccessiveApprox
13.
“r/Trees and r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts are swapped.
If you have a question about your Oak tree, r/trees will tell you how to smoke it, while r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts will tell you how to nurture it.
It is completely worth being subbed to both, just for the crossover posts.” - mdwstoned
14.
“There was this girl from the Solomon Islands. Used to live in a tiny village or settlement, on a small island there. Used to get around on canoes, and live in primitive little self-made huts. She'd sometimes go to Brisbane, where I think she had studied or visited a while.
She just showed all of us what island life was like, removed from the modern conveniences of restaurants, supermarkets, cars, and stress.
I loved seeing her photos and reading about her life there. Does anyone else remember this girl from the Solomon Islands?” - percypigg
15.
“Jason Worley found out that his wife had cheated on him with their neighbor. They had been married for years and had two children so initially, Jason planned to stay married for the sake of their kids. However, he eventually had his doubts on this position, nd sought advice on r/relationship_advice as the now-deleted user u/jasoninhell. He asked if he should divorce his wife.
For once in a blue moon, the subreddit's typical advice of "dump that bitch" was actually warranted, and many users expressed that he should proceed with a divorce for his sake and his children's. Jason took this advice to heart, and shortly after the post was made, he requested a divorce from his wife.
Days after this divorce request, Jason's ex-to-be Brandi Worley did the unthinkable. She procured a combat knife from Walmart, which she would end up using to murder their two children. On the night of the murders, Brandi asked Jason to not sleep in their bedroom and instead sleep on a couch. Jason declined the couch and instead opted to sleep in the house's basement. Once Jason was asleep, Brandi took the knife and murdered their two children. Once they were dead, she attempted to kill herself, but was unsuccessful and remains alive to this day.
Upon questioning, she revealed that her motive for killing the children was so that Jason couldn't take them away from her. During her trial she was sentenced to serve 120 years in prison — 65 for the murder of her 3 y/o daughter and 55 for the murder of her 7 y/o son.” - lachjeff
16.
“It's not that old but the story of how Ellen Pao was head of Reddit and lost her job in 2015. That was the time period when Reddit went from a mostly free-range community to a business-curated social media outlet. A lot of people see that 2014 into 2016 timeframe as the death of "old Reddit" - bukithd
17.
“My favorite was the guy throwing his steak at the window and getting caught by his wife's boss, and then the wife followed up with a post of her own.
Another one I've never been able to find was a guy who was drunk/high and he yelled out of his window "HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!" Really aggressively and scared her. The comment underneath said bake her a cake to say sorry. The comment underneath said "write on it: I'M REALLY FUCKING SORRY!!". I was crying laughing at that one and I've never been able to find it since, Sorry I don't know how to link” - SabrinaSpellman1
18.
“The time James Cordon did a Reddit AMA and just got blasted in the comments for literal hours.” - RFLC1996
19.
“The lady that owned a wedding cake store and secretly only used boxed cake mix from the grocery in all her cakes. IIRC she said she hated making cakes, but loved decorating them and everyone seemed to like the cakes anyway. She still updates the post last I checked.” - dancingbanana123
20.
“I'd say test post, please ignore. (https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/92dd8/test_post_please_ignore/) I'm a very old redditor (this isn't my first account) and I remember this post fondly. At the time it had 10k upvotes I think and back then that was unheard of.” - Freeoath
21.
“The guy who tried heroin (i think) and documented his journey from nonaddict to addict to recovery. There's also the post-it note the guy who kept finding post-its in his apartment.” - MrElshagan
22.
“I'm disappointed that no one mentioned the really big sub sandwich story. It was an AITA post about a guy who brought a very large sub to a party (wedding?) or some shit, ate the whole thing, and everyone went tf off on him. It was one of my favorites, but I just searched for it and couldn't find it :( “ - Suedeonquaaludes
23.
“A sense of pride and accomplishment. It is the most downvoted comment of all time, and it was made by an EA rep. (https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsBattlefront/comments/7cff0b/seriously_i_paid_80_to_have_vader_locked/dppum98/) - roberh
24.
“[Poop Knife] (https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife)” - HearVoices
25.
“The guy who'd comment on stuff, but it would always end with his dad beating the shit out of him with a tire-iron. He had like, 50 comments on various topics, but it always ended the same..” - DickEd209
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