25 World Class Insults From the Sick Minds of Reddit

1.

“May you have a day as pleasant as you are.”Great to use on customers because they can’t complain this was an insult without admitting they were fucking rude. - sketchysketchist

2.

Best I’ve got away with to a client was “have a day sir”. I said it fast so that if anyone heard, I could claim they missed the “good”- lildeidei

3.

"I know a mind reader who would charge you half price." - carrotwax

4.

For a critic, “You have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know a lot about me, and I don’t give a fuck about you.” - Brundleflyftw

5.

For a critic, “You have me at a disadvantage. You seem to know a lot about me, and I don’t give a f**k about you.” - Brundleflyftw

6.

Maybe you Aussies and Kiwis remember this but a while ago the New Zealand prime minister Robert Muldoon was asked about immigration from New Zealand to Australia. He responded that he was fine with it because it was raising the average IQ of both countries. - SmoochieMcGucci

7.

“He has a face like a stuntman’s knee” - summer_coys

8.

"face like a slapped arse." - RustyRovers

9.

Had one Yemani describe a colleague in broken English "he's a waste of skin" - HarrargnNarg

10.

I hope you go far. The sooner, the better - Czarcasm3

11.

“The only thing you’re fucking, is stupid.” - Lemon - seeoharewhy13

12.

“The only thing you’re f**king, is stupid.” - Lemon - seeoharewhy13

13.

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you." Maybe not the best, but it's a really good one. - Forgot_My_Rape_Shoes

14.

I would call you a tool, but that implies that you're useful for something. - ricksenburg

15.

You've only got 2 brain cells and they are both fighting for 3rd place - vanity_is_a_mess

16.

You're not the dumbest person in the world but you'd better hope they don't die - vanity_is_a_mess

17.

While I was in the navy I overheard, " I'd tell you to go kill yourself but you would probably fuck that up too." - bigboog1

18.

While I was in the navy I overheard, " I'd tell you to go kill yourself but you would probably f**k that up too." - bigboog1

19.

Another time a guy wrote, on an evaluation, "losing this guy would be like gaining two people." - bigboog1

20.

You probably get your insults from askreddit - Musaks

21.

I don't know if they came up with it, but I believe Animaniacs had "The closest you'll have to a brainstorm is a slight drizzle," which I still think is quite good. - Mielkevejen

22.

"You're so stupid that it may actually be illegal to fuck you." - Alice_Van_Osbourne

23.

"You're so stupid that it may actually be illegal to f**k you." - Alice_Van_Osbourne

24.

My cholesterol is higher than your standards. - bobbery5

25.

A colleague of mine was told the following by a waitress when he had tried to hit on her. "You have more dick in your personality than you do in your pants" - Hollywood899

26.

Should you have someone with you ? - noggerthefriendo

27.

"I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said." William F. Buckley - LordPimpernel

28.

My stepfather (best dude ever!) was talking about one of my mothers obnoxious, know it all friends...and he said "That woman could give an aspirin a headache!" - Tiny_Entertainer3460

29.

I’m jealous of the people that have never met you. - Crazyforlou