23 Times Life Decided to Suck
Featured 07/07/2021
Sometimes life is simply unkind. Sometimes it simply does not care.
It can be sort of like that unhinged psychopath who kidnapped most of the eBaums World interns last summer and released them into a maze filled with traps, Ninja Warrior-style obstacles and one very real minotaur.
Life can have a cruel sense of humor too. Similar to the aforementioned psychopath who placed arrows on the floor of the maze, ostensibly leading to the way out -- without ever mentioning the fact that there was no way out at all. Just an endless, circular maze.
Life is full of the unexpected. Like that psychopath's maze -- specifically, the fact that one of the interns did finally manage to escape by slaying the minotaur, donning its pelt, and feigning injury until I -- I mean the psychopath -- had emerged from the secret panel in one of the walls to inspect it.
By the time I found the pelt, he was already gone, leaving me all alone in an empty, blood-spattered maze with silence as my only companion. And that was a very bad day. But as bad the one these people were having.
It can be sort of like that unhinged psychopath who kidnapped most of the eBaums World interns last summer and released them into a maze filled with traps, Ninja Warrior-style obstacles and one very real minotaur.
Life can have a cruel sense of humor too. Similar to the aforementioned psychopath who placed arrows on the floor of the maze, ostensibly leading to the way out -- without ever mentioning the fact that there was no way out at all. Just an endless, circular maze.
Life is full of the unexpected. Like that psychopath's maze -- specifically, the fact that one of the interns did finally manage to escape by slaying the minotaur, donning its pelt, and feigning injury until I -- I mean the psychopath -- had emerged from the secret panel in one of the walls to inspect it.
By the time I found the pelt, he was already gone, leaving me all alone in an empty, blood-spattered maze with silence as my only companion. And that was a very bad day. But as bad the one these people were having.
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8. My mother took up a haircutting course 9 years ago. With just little practice she confidently lured my brother in for a haircut. This is the result.
9. A friend of mine hid my AirPods in a box of chicken nuggets that I proceeded to microwave without opening the box.
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12. My town’s only Burger King burned down yesterday, taking flame-grilled burgers to the next level.
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15. Accidentally made a magnifying glass when rain gathered on crash wrap covering a busted sunroof.
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17. My freezer broke 2 days ago and I didn’t notice so now all of the meat we had in it is bad.
18. My Mom ran over a mattress on the way home and it got caught under the rear driver side wheel and caught fire.
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20. No collision or vandalism. The window just decided it didn’t want to be a part of our car anymore.
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22. My shed has one of those locks that has a hinge and folds over. This was underneath when I stuck my fingers behind the lock.
23. Someone at USPS tried to fold my package with a rare record inside it, $100 gone, and now one less of them in the world.
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