23 Statements That Will Make You Think...

1. The only time the word incorrectly isnt spelled incorrectly is when its spelled incorrectly

2. When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow

3. The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.

4. Its possible that drug cartels are comprised exclusively of undercover DEA agents who dont know about each other.

5. Being attracted to your own flaccid penis would be the worst fetish ever.

6. Trying to get rich by playing the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying on commercial airlines.

7. ''Slang is a colloquial word for colloquial word.''

8. When someone else makes you laugh in your dream, your brain came up with that joke. Of course you think its funny.

9. Your right elbow has never been touched by your right hand.

10. The word Fat just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word ''Eat''.

11. All of the planets in Star Wars have the exact same gravitational pulls.

12. Mars is populated entirely by robots!

13. If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich.

14. What if the Egyptians didnt actually revere cats, but only jokingly did like we do on the internet?

15. People who say, ''Dont tell me what to do'' are hypocrites.

16. A mullet will make you a redneck and also prevent you from getting one.

17. The final ''e'' in finale is the finale of finale.

18. Porn mags in the Harry Potter universe would be amazing.

19. We will never hear about the truly perfect crime.

20. Its possible that AI built to defeat the Turing test fails on purpose so we dont know how smart it really is.

21. 1980 is as far away as 2048.

22. Asking someone, Where are you? is a recent thing. Before we had mobile phones, the only way we could talk to people is if we knew where they were.

23. Everything is or isnt ice cream