1. Hey Winter, ever heard the phrase "coming on too strong"?
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2. Thanks to you, all the stuff on my porch is ruined.
3. Suddenly no one can live without milk, bread, or eggs.
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4. I forgot to rake the leaves, so now I get to shovel them snow which is twice as hard and looks like crap.
5. I didn't have time to put on warm pants. Or a coat.
6. And the gloves have conspired against me.
7. I managed to find my hat, but every time I take it off...
8. Your early arrival sent college girls into premature moon boot frenzy.
9. Flat surfaces are no longer safe.
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10. I have to get up 2 hours early just to dig my car out.
11. And once it's out the brakes are worthless.
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13. And all my friends with 4WD vehicles are so smug.
15. I enjoyed about two weeks without paying for AC or heat. Those days are now over, thanks to you, Winter.
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16. The sanctity of Sunday Football has been jeopardized.
17. OK only in Buffalo. But it's Buffalo, what else do they HAVE?!
18. My bathroom has become a torture chamber.
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19. And don't even get me started on the bedroom.
20. My motivation to workout has dipped to below zero, just like the temperature.
21. I didn't check the weather before bed. Now my cat hates me.
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22. And all this snow makes people think they can start skipping holidays. Which makes me and Batman slappy.
23. But perhaps most cruel is that you've made Florida seem like a good place to live. And for that we can never forgive you.
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