20 Cult Members Talk about The Moment They Knew
It's easier than you'd think to fall in with a cult. So easy, in fact, that oftentimes cult members have no idea they're cult members. They're all just friendly, like-minded people who happen to agree that Joe has a point when he says he has to sleep with everybody's wives to save the world from the evil twin brother of Jesus who keeps brain-washing the Unenlightened into thinking they're just a bunch of crazy cult members.
Jokes aside, it's a serious thing; vulnerable people get indoctrinated into cults all the time without knowing it -- whether because they were born into one or somebody with a pamphlet came into the life at the perfectly wrong time or any other number of reasons -- and too few are fortunate enough to wake up to the stark reality that they're part of a cult.
Down below are stories from real people detailing the exact moment they realized something was wrong.
1.
When the leader kept my mom up for 2 days straight. He was making her cook, clean, wait on him hand and foot all while berating her. yelled at her she was an evil woman and going to spend eternity in h*ll, he was too godly for her, etc. 3 am and I hear him screaming at her, all biblical bs, and she’s crying. she broke down and he drove my mom, my sister and I to the ER and said she had to check herself into mental health because she’s psychotic. We are there for 3 hours. They turn her away and she comes out with abuse pamphlets.
2.
Former Jehovah's witness too. The first time I realized something was wrong was when a huge core belief changed in 1995. ( The end will come before the generation that saw the events of 1914 died...changed to.. well it's changed 7 times since then) I was confused and it didn't compute that my entire life's beliefs changed over night. I struggled on awhile until shortly after my then husband beat the s**t out of me and for some reason HE called the elders over to help and the elders told me " Be a better wife so he doesn't get angry" I was done then. DONE.
3.
When I met with my mother about difficulty coping with my arranged marriage. I explained to her the abusive aspects of the relationship and how much it was breaking me down, and her response was that it was my job to be quiet and if God wanted to change my husband, he would. I suddenly realized, sitting across from her and looking her in the eyes, that she had let my father take my childhood innocence and had zero qualms about my mistreatment now at the hands of my husband. I knew when I hugged her goodbye and cried all the way home that I would never see her again. It’s been four years since I ran away.
4.
This happened to my classmate in the fifth grade. Her family were Jehovah Witnessers. She needed a blood transfusion but the family refused and she died. I don't remember the specifics of her condition but what the heck. The whole class cried for weeks. Try wrapping your little 11 year old brain around that.
5.
I got punished for my own sexual assault. I was victim blamed. The abuser was twice my age (I was mid-teens). I was forced to repent. For what, I am not sure as they wouldn’t answer that question. As I got older and looked back, I realized that everything they’d told me was a lie. If you do everything you’re supposed to, you’re supposed to be blessed. If you break the rules, you have challenges/obstacles/lessons and must repent. But if Jesus dies for my sins why do I have to repent? And what am I repenting for? I didn’t consent I any of that. Nor could I from a legal standpoint. The only obvious answer was that it was all BS. Then years later, a widely publicized case with similar circumstances became international news. And the victim’s clergy person stood up on CNN and said she was forgiven. Forgiven. For being raped. I had noped out years before but when I saw that particular press conference I had to get therapy to deal with all that rage. Guh
6.
When my parents told me they'd let me die rather than allow me to get certain medical procedures.
7.
When I realized that the doors to the 13 story former hotel building we were all living in was locked and you had to sign out to leave. No one (from children to adults) could leave without an explanation to where they were going and when they'd be back.
8.
When we were told that we couldn't go to college. I was about 15 when I realized that we weren't allowed to. The elders said it was because of the end time coming and wasting time, and worry about fellowship in the world. It is because they want to keep us stupid. That was the year I left. That was compounded because the same year my cousin tried to kill herself, and they told us not to visit. I hadn't been baptized yet (you wait until you are old enough to study and consent) so I told the elders that if we weren't allowed to talk to her in her greatest time of need, they could shove it.
9.
After watching The Day After in the 80s, I asked my mom if we knew the nukes were coming, who would she rather spend her last moments with me or the cult leader, she choose him. I came up with my own survival plan after that. I was going to skateboard to safety.
10.
When the 'Elders' told me that I could no longer speak to my younger sister anymore because she was in 'bad standing' with the organization. She's the only family I have left. They made her out to be this monster just because she wasn't actively going to church. That's when the glass shattered for me I was one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my sister and I are still close. She's doing great things for herself and I do not regret my decision at all. Dont let someone else make decisions for your life, you'll be much happier!
11.
When my mom said that I was so bad at housekeeping that if I got abused by my future husband, "he would be within his rights as head of the household". Fundie cults are the worst
12.
It's hard to pick a first time but I knew I needed to run when I was taken shopping for a wedding dress at 12 years old.
13.
When my brother started asking (politely) how our religion was founded and how our family got involved and generally just questions about life: they don't believe in evolution or kissing before marriage. And they would bite his head off about it at age 11. It made me realize they were being defensive because they had no answers. If you can't explain why you're in a religion, you get the heck out.
14.
Every women needed to bear a child with the cult leader. We were given drugged sweets, such as cookies, for food.
17.
Ex-Jehovah’s Witness here. My first hint that something was wrong was the amount of control exerted in our day to day lives. No beards, no long hair for men, no tattoos or piercings, no shirts with “edgy” artwork like band shirts or shirts with skulls, no entertainment they don’t approve of, etc. Other witnesses are trained to report you to the elders if you’re not following their guidelines, such as if you have a position of respect in the congregation but someone sees that you have a rated R movie, they’ll report you to the elders and you could lose your position and good standing, which will change the way the congregation treats you. What really tipped it over the edge for me though was their doctrine that all non-witnesses deserve to die at Armageddon by gods hand, simply for not being witnesses. Armageddon is supposed to be urgently imminent, and over 99.9% of the world will die just because they’re not witnesses. That didn’t sit right with me. I had been working in retail for some time, and the people I worked with were every bit as intelligent, compassionate and loving as any witness I knew. Eventually, these issues became too great for me to bear, and I committed the ultimate sin, researching information that criticizes the religion. We were taught to be terrified of anything that remotely criticizes the religion and it’s leaders. I finally pushed against that fear and did the research. Woke up instantly. Realized why they taught us to fear “apostate” information so much, it’s because they know it’s all true and they don’t want us to see it
18.
Not in a cult per say, but was in one of those evangelical megachurches. Started as a nice corner church; the piety was genuine. I dont think that the pastor planned the whole thing - he seemed a genuine preacher until the church grew exponentially. Like went from a few hundred members to 15,000 in less than 2 years. Then his main focus was maintaining (entertaining) the masses, which drove him to do stupid things. Many weird things started happening. Especially, one day he "had a revelation" that the congregation needs to expand further and members have to, I am serious, give out all the GOLD they were wearing. I know a lady that got into serious trouble with her husband because she gave away her gold wedding band. My last straw was when he promoted himself to Apostle and renamed himself "Paul". Apostle Paul. Okay.
19.
When I was told doing independent research on the doctrine would lead to being shunned by my friends and family. i.e. fall in line. Jehovah's Witness.
20.
It started when I was a kid when I asked my mother why the important people in the church have such so many big houses. All she told me was people donate them... As I grew up and understood real estate value they had like $500k houses in almost all major cities in the US. Most churches solely on tithing and donations but they were doing what the catholic church was doing way back when. Asking for thousands upon thousands of dollars for "spiritual revolutions" and "ancestor liberations". But I will never tell my parents especially my mother what they are doing is wrong because it has revolved around their lives for so long. I do not want to take that away from them. I think they probably know that I do not want to do anything with the "church" at this point but won't outright call me out.
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