20 NSFW Facts About the Military
Ever wonder what it's like to really be in the military? They make it seem glamorous with lots of respect and glory, but the reality is that it's not all fun and games.
People are bored, they play pranks on each other, and there's lots and lots of abuse. The kind people over at r/AskReddit let us know exactly what's going on in our military barracks.
1.
Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard: "Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet." u/Tak_Jaehon
2.
Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED. I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the shit off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with shit that fish are eating and dying on. u/eyehate
3.
Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers. u/it_helper
4.
Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from. u/Lazy-Plum-19
5.
The food boxes that come in literally say "For prison and military use only." u/BlackLotus8888
6.
If you join the military you will be affected by suicide. We had 3 during training, 1 on the boat, 1 I had to tackle on my office because he was slashing his wrists. Then you get out and it keeps happening, I've lost 8 shipmates in the last 7 years after I got out. It's nuts. u/warhedz24hedz1
8.
You have to show your asshole to one of the oldest doctors on the planet before they let you join. I think it is a commitment thing. u/Mackinacsfuriousclaw
9.
Calling a product "Military Grade" is not the compliment that most think it is. u/Necessary_Board_3116
10.
I don't know how much of a secret it is, but if you're in the military or married to the military, the odds of you being cheated on sexually (or being the cheater) increase drastically compared to your civilian peers. u/Necessary_Board_3116
11.
A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly good, you can’t inspect everything , so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare in to your anus to check you for ticks in there. u/Litenpes
12.
The amount of waste, fraud and abuse is exponentially more than you think. u/UniqueUsername82D
13.
We had female soldiers committing their own prostitution. They had a code and everything. If a girl at the coffee shop was wearing PTs and a pink PT belt she was down to fuck for money. One or more of these girls contracted a disease and next thing you know there is a base wide epidemic and I still remember a commissioned doctor coming into the break area screaming “if I have to look at one more fucking dirty dick I’m quitting, fuck it” u/tacobellbandit
14.
A lot of guys will use all sorts of pills and pumps in order to juice their stats on penis inspection day. u/MagneticPsycho
15.
You don’t go poo for a long time after you start basic training. Weeks. It becomes a subject of conversation with your dorm mates. u/sprucecone
16.
People play a lot of ridiculous pranks and pull a lot of silly stunts. On my last deployment we had a phantom shitter. Just some guy, or girl, they never got found out, who would shit in random spaces. u/230flathead
17.
I was selected 6 times in a row to be urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 dicks involuntarily. u/Jarhead-Coffee
18.
The amount of unreported injuries to Doc or to command.......thus leading to lifelong issues. On the other hand, if you do go to Doc about an issue, you'll be berated and told you are lying about an issue to get out of duty/PT. u/Unlucky_Escape1876
20.
No earprotection on the range? Just shove your fingers in your ears. Also safety squints work if you're fast enough. u/Ok_advice
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