Laughter is one of the simplest joys we share, and the best jokes are the ones that are short, clever, and easy to tell.
Most are built on a quick pun, a witty twist, or a playful story with an unexpected ending. Jokes remind us not to take life too seriously and sometimes to just laugh loudly.
This collection brings together classics you may have heard and some fresh spins you might not expect. They’re family-friendly, quick to read, and perfect for retelling everyone around you.
There’s a little something here for every sense of humor. So relax, enjoy, and get ready to laugh.
1
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
2
I picked up a hitchhiker, and he said, “Aren’t you worried I could be a serial killer?” I replied, “The chances of us both being serial killers is pretty low.”
3
What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.”
4
Two muffins are in the oven. One says, “Wow, it’s hot in here.” The other says, “Ahh! A talking muffin!”
5
I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
6
A male potato chip and a female chip walk into a bar. She goes to the bathroom. Another female chip asks him, “So… are you Herr’s or Frito-Lay?”
7
A blind man walks into a hardware store with his guide dog. He picks the dog up by the tail and swings it around. The manager asks, “Sir, can I help you?” The man says, “No thanks. Just looking around.”
8
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
9
An old man crashes into a sports car. The furious driver demands $10,000. Shaken, the old man says, “Wait, I’ll call my son, he trained dolphins.” The son arrives, hears the story, and beats up the driver. “Dad,” he says, “I told you, I trained as a Navy
10
I had a joke about chiropractors, but it needs some adjustment.
11
A man orders a beer. He hears a voice say, “Nice tie!” Then, “Great shirt!” Confused, he tells the bartender. The bartender says, “Oh, it’s the peanuts. They’re complimentary.”
12
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”
13
On her birthday, a wife says, “I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace. What do you think it means?” Her husband smiles. “Maybe you’ll find out tonight.” That night, he gives her a box. She opens it to find… a book titled How to Interpret Your Dreams.
14
A cop pulls over a speeder. “What’s your excuse?” The man says, “My wife ran off with a cop last week. I thought you were bringing her back.”
15
Three dinosaurs find a magic lamp. A genie grants them three wishes. The first asks for a big hunk of meat. The second asks for a shower of meat. The third asks for a meatier shower.
16
Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies.
17
I moved into a new house and found a light switch that did nothing. Still, I flipped it every day. Weeks later, I got a letter: “Cut it out.”
18
The doctor says, “You only have 10 to live.” The patient asks, “10 what, years? Months?” Doctor: “9… 8… 7…”
19
A man didn’t want to be drafted, so he pulled out all his teeth. When the recruiters inspected him, they said, “Sorry, you’re out, you’ve got flat feet.”
20
Someone broke into my house and stole all my light bulbs. I wasn’t mad, just de-lighted.