18 Things Teachers Wish They Hadn't Seen Their Students Do in School

1.

My very religious science teacher had to explain to my very religious classmate sex positions.

We were talking about how if your pregnant you can have sex till the day the baby is born. This student asks, “Won’t it crush the baby? Like, the weight of the man on top of the woman.”

I have never seen a teacher go so pale so quickly.

After five minutes of awkward stuttering, she just says, “Be creative.” There was a lot of other things brought up in this lesson this one just stood out to me.

2.

One of our classmates was the Bart Simpson of our school

One day he decided to bring in his mother’s dildo, and was waving it at the girls during lunch break and chasing them around with it.

The lunch lady wrestled it off him, which was immediately met with laughter and applause.

About an hour later we saw him next to the school principal and his mother walking up to them at the reception desk. We didn’t see him for a week after that and he never spoke of it again.

3.

I taught middle school and high school for eleven years.

To any woman reading this thread, something that was never embarrassing or awkward to discuss with a student was anything related to periods.

I had quite a few girls bleed through their pants and onto my seats and would be so embarrassed to tell me after class. It honestly was no big deal on my end, and I always had a few black sweaters in my classroom that I could offer if they needed something to cover up until they could get a change of clothes.

I also had a little supply of pads if they needed those as well. I was known for it and sometimes a student I didn’t teach would visit me asking for period supplies.

I never wanted any of my students to be ashamed of something that was absolutely natural. Students learn from words but also reactions. If you act like it’s no big deal, they’ll think that way too.

4.

Personal hygiene. Always the worst.

I teach students with disabilities so I’ve had to give (clothed) demos of how to wash your body in the shower and how to apply deodorant/antiperspirant.

5.

Students were making comments about the stinky kid in class. Some tried to get me to move their seat away from him.

The parent-teacher conference came up, I can’t remember how long it had been going on, but I talk to his dad about it.

I don’t remember the words I used but he was surprised and apologetic. The next day and from then on the kid cleaned up and there were no more comments from the other students.

His senior year he was prom king.

6.

One time I had a student who was goofing off in class. He his name started with a vowel and R, like Chr/ Tr/ Br, and I got on to him for something. His response was, “Miss, your Rs are so sexy.”

The awkward part was that I worked with his mom and had known this kid for years. She made him write me an apology letter that I still have, seven-ish years later.

7.

During my freshman year in high school, one student who sat in the back with his friends started watching porn on his phone and was showing them.

The dumbass didn’t plug in some headphones, so of course he got caught. Apparently after our teacher sent him to the office, they called his mom to come there and have a chat about it.

8.

Not a teacher, but I had zero social skills in middle school.

I was in a school play in eighth grade. I played the lead male role. I had serious jock itch sitting in the chair I had to sit in for most of the show and would scratch myself during rehearsals.

Up there. On the stage. In front of everyone.

During one of the rehearsals the director took me into the prop closet and explained that I should absolutely not do that. Thankfully he had the grace not to tell my parents about it.

But I tend to think that was one of the most awkward conversations he had to have as a teacher.

9.

Thirteen year-old female student telling me how attractive a seventeen year-old male student is. I tried to explain that it isn’t appropriate for her to pursue a relationship with him.

She insisted on knowing why and I explained about consent and age of consent and that she’s a child.

Then she says, “Well, he’s really hot though. You think so, right Miss?” and I said that no, I did not think so because he’s a child. At which point she asked why, if he’s a child, she can’t date him.

Same female student, studying Jack the Ripper thought “prostitute” meant “rapist.” I had to explain the difference for her.

10.

With a parent I think it was discussing the son’s death threats that he made.

He wrote on my desks that he wanted to kill me and he wanted me to die. Then he wrote in an essay how to murder someone and get away with it.

11.

My classroom looked out onto the big kid playground (like 6-12 year-olds).

I was sitting during nap time doing work when I look out the window and see a boy with his pants down touching himself while watching his classmates playing.

That was a fun talk to have with my boss/his mother.

12.

I used to work as an English teacher in a Korean high school where it is required by law that foreign English teachers have a Korean co-teacher in the classroom with them at all times.

One of my co-teachers was a very pretty young woman, and one day one of the boy students asked me about my co-teacher’s pubic hair.

I still have no idea why he thought I was privy to that information.

13.

I am not a teacher but I am still about to tell a true story of a legend that I had the pleasure of witnessing.

It was sex ed class and we finally got to the infamous question time. Our teacher was six months pregnant so I already knew this was gonna be good.

This complete mad lad asked the horrifying question, “What position did you use to conceive your child and where did you do it?”

The room went silent before erupting into tears and laughter.

The worst part of it all is the SUPER INTENDANT happened to be outside our door. The story is well known through my entire town and lots of people think it’s fake but it happened all right.

14.

My teacher had to explain to my mom why she owed $2,000 to the school from me stealing books out of the library and selling them.

15.

Caught four teenage boys in the bathroom with rulers.

We had a little talk about not doing that in school.

16.

My co-teacher brought in oatmeal cream pies for Pi day one year. Our class wasn’t the best behaved, but I still wasn’t expecting the reaction of one of our most interesting students.

He exclaimed, “This is better than head!” Mom seemed perplexed as to how he could possibly make that determination.

17.

Explaining that I do, in fact, know what the shocker hand gesture looks like, and telling a student they could not use it to represent the number three.

What was worse was having to explain the gesture to my boss who sent me a screenshot of the Wikipedia page to verify what I saw.

18.

I may not be a teacher, but I can’t imagine my middle school science teacher felt confident talking to my parents about the fact that I started to hit on her.

She was young and beautiful for a teacher in my experiences until then.