17 Things that are Irrationally Irritating

1. “Faceplanted onto asphalt yesterday. Literally my nightmare.”

2. “Having to clean this up after a movie”

3. “I was mowing the lawn and found some money.”

4. “The toilet paper at a $30,000,000,000 company”

5. “My first day as a delivery guy at Domino’s”

6. “Before you ask, it’s a jackfruit.”

7. “Just wanted a croissant.”

8. “Finally got a prize from the claw game... at least I thought I did.”

9. “I appreciate your late night attempt to clean, random party guest, but wooden cutting boards DO NOT go in the dishwasher.”

10. “I just spilled a full cup of orange juice all over myself on the last day of vacation. And I didn’t bring an extra pair of pants.”

11. “Accidentally ran my favorite necklace through the washing machine.”

12. “Was waiting for a new tree, but got more sidewalk instead.”

13. “My sister is borrowing my car and pissed someone off because she kept parking in the handicapped parking space.”“So they keyed my car in retaliation.”

14. “This $10 salad I paid for at a restaurant.”

15. “Found some graffiti on my fence this morning. Just finished putting it up a couple weeks ago.”

16. “Get away from me you creep.”

17. “How they cut the cake at my aunt’s birthday.”