wtf

17 Brutal and Zany Anti-Gooning Devices of Olden Times

Back in the Victorian era, masturbation used to be a horrific sin instead of just a way to spend a lazy Sunday. But try as they might, people couldn’t stop others from jerking it with simple words alone. Thus, many brilliant inventors in the late 19th and early 20th century patented and built various insane devices designed to curb masturbation once and for all.


Some of them are horrific and hurt just to look at, while others are more like the board game Mousetrap. The question I’m left with after looking at all these wacky inventions is, what the hell were they jacking off to back then anyway? The internet wasn’t even around yet. Women’s ankles?

1.

18th-century French anti-masturbation device

2.

Device that pumped cold water around the genitals to calm erections, 1893

3.

Anti-masturbation overalls, patented in 1917 by “Mr. Jones of Des Moines”

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4.

Chastity belt

5.

Electric alarm for treatment of masturbation, 1887

6.

Four-pointed urethral ring from 1887 to “treat” masturbation

7.

If the wearer of this device got an erection, it would trigger a small fan which would cool the penis and hopefully stop the boner in its tracks (1893)

8.

“Sexual armor” invented in 1907 to stop mental patients from touching themselves

9.

Patented in 1899. If the wearer got a boner it would trigger the device, ringing a bell

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10.

If the penis grows beyond a certain length while wearing this, the device will trigger an electric shock (1903)

11.

A tight mechanical sheath that could only be unlocked by a tiny key

12.

The Spermatic Truss, patented in 1876, which strapped the penis to the leg so it could not become erect

13.

The Bowen device. It was worn clipped to the pubic hair, so an erection would tug at the pubes and hurt the wearer

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14.

A French anti-masturbation device

15.

Young man in an anti-masturbation corset (1830)

16.

A device called a Jugum Penis from the late 1800s designed to prevent guys from popping a boner in their sleep

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17.

Male anti-masturbation apparatus from the late 1800s

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