15 Evil Life Hacks You Shouldn't Try

1.

A friend of mine did this at Lollapalooza. He went around selling “brownies” to people for like 10 bucks each. The trick is, they were actually just brownies.

2.

When at self-checkout, scan the store brand tuna while filling your bags with the brand name stuff of the same weight.

3.

When I don’t want to get caught plagiarizing off of Wikipedia I translate the article to French, then Hindi, then back to English, and chip off grammatical errors and get praised for my hard work.

4.

When you give someone a gift card as a gift, write down the card number and code. Then after a year or two, check the balance and if they hadn’t used it yet, just use it yourself. They obviously won’t know or care.

5.

If you ever get caught sleeping at your desk at work, say “They told me at the Blood Bank that this would happen” when asked for a reason

6.

My university charges for printing with little devices next to the printer which “release” the print job to the printer. In order to circumvent this, I install the printers by their IP address as it goes straight to the printer and prints without having to pay.

7.

In my experience, a Pizza Hut (or other pizza company) hat, shirt and bag will get you into more places than the uniform of say a cop or armed courier.

8.

Save business cards of people you don’t like. If you ever hit a parked car accidentally, just write “sorry” on the back and leave it on the windshield.

9.

Look up your buildings washer/dryer model on eBay and order a key for it. I haven’t paid for laundry in years and it cost me $8.00! Sleep like a baby knowing you’re not paying for on-site laundry.

10.

If you glue a dead wasp to the palm of your hand, you can hit your boss on the back of the head as hard as you like and act like you saved him.

11.

Buy the cheapest tickets available for a sporting event. Once inside, check Ticketmaster and Stubhub for better seats that didn’t sell and go sit there.

12.

If you don’t want to make a call but may later need to prove that you, in fact, did make a call but they didn’t pick up, turn airplane mode on and make a call.

13.

Starting a new job? No matter what the reality is you now have four, alive grandparents. Say one died to get some time off.

14.

Search audiobooks on Spotify. Scroll down to playlists. Inside you will find real audiobooks that don’t show up in the search. Click on the album and the rest of the chapters will be there.

15.

Make your edibles in the shape of dog treats and take them anywhere you want. If a drug dog finds them, his handler will just think he’s being a silly boy.