15 Bible Stories That Could Double as Florida Man Headlines

zachnading Published 03/17/2023

The bible is full of bullshit, and let's be real...so is Florida. So we've taken it upon ourselves to collect some of that most insane bible stories that could also double as Florida Man headlines.

You'd be surprised at how many of these work perfectly. You'd be even more shocked to find that at least one of the headlines on this list actually happened in Florida.

Grab some SPF 50, your favorite bathing suit, and get ready for a bible study like no other. The religion of Florida Man is here to stay.

1.

Florida man sells out his boss for 30 pieces of silver. -Snuffy1717

2.

Florida man threatens to cut baby in half to stop two women from fighting. -plaskettball

3.

Florida man urges bear to eat children who mocked his baldness. -Snuffy1717

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4.

Florida man kills man with donkey jaw. -Wizard_of_Claus

5.

Florida man gets wasted and supposedly killed, then wakes up in a cave 3 days later. -JuliaTheInsaneKid

6.

Florida man lights foxes on fire and lets them run through crops. -HolyC4bbage

7.

Florida Man rants outside governor's mansion, claims to have summoned plague of frogs. -Texandria

8.

Florida man falls into lion enclosure; survives all night. -AgentCarmichael20

9.

Florida man converses with flaming shrub. Now claims ownership over royal slaves. -Wizard_of_Claus

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10.

Florida man claims 'giant flood will destroy earth', builds boat to save all animals; no room for humans. -Wizard_of_Claus

11.

Florida man claims to have killed Bigfoot with slingshot. -the_only_rokkatru_jp

12.

Florida Woman Steals Fruit, Blames Reptile. -upvoter222

13.

Florida man replaces all fluids at party with alcohol. -Wizard_of_Claus

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14.

Florida man says he was swallowed by whale for 3 days and 3 nights, claims to have had 'divine experience' in the stomach. -the_only_rokkatru_jp

15.

Florida man leads friend group into desert, gets lost for 40 years. -mito413

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