Funny

11 Women Reveal Their Most Awkward Sex-in-Public Stories

These are pretty hilarious.

1.

“In high school, my boyfriend and I were pretty much relegated to having sex in the back of his Jeep because, well, obviously we lived with our parents, and I didn’t have my own car. One night, we drove down to the parking lot of a local park that looked pretty empty and started making out in the back. (His Jeep was fully covered, but the back didn’t have any seats so we could lie down on the floor. Very romantic.) I was fully naked and he had his shirt off by the time a flashlight shone on the car. Apparently the park closed at 11 p.m. and rangers came to sweep the parking lot. I covered myself with a blanket while my boyfriend jumped into the front seat to talk to the officer, who was rightly very concerned about my safety. He kept asking if I wanted to be there and if I could get out of the car (yes, and no) and when he realized I was buck naked, he just made me show my hands out the top of the blanket. We were nice, respectful teens though, and the officer somewhat amusedly let us go. Turns out he did call my boyfriend’s mom and told her what happened though, and after that, she was super chill about us being alone in his bedroom. Her talk to us was, if you’re going to do it, at least do it safely and legally. Which, OK, fine.” — Jessica, 28.

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2.

“I was hooking up with a football player in the bathroom of a usually desolated building. While I was going down on him, a guy walked in. I assumed he would pee and leave but nope, he didn’t. Instead, he went into the stall right next to us and took a shit. Then after he left, we started having doggy-style sex, and a guy walked in, stood in front of the mirror, and then left. He was looking at our reflection [through the crack] in the stall! We walked out smooth as ever.” —Samantha, 21

3.

“My boyfriend and I decided to have sex in college (hello, roommates) around the side of the building, where the stoners usually go. We were in the middle of having sex on a bench when these guys came toward us to smoke. They saw us mid-intercourse and didn’t turn around or anything, they just kept coming toward the spot. We were in doggy-style on the bench with pants around our ankles, so it was totally obvious what we were doing and that they saw us! Guess they really wanted to get high there. We didn’t even get to finish and got cockblocked by stoners.” —Erica, 19

4.

“Me and my boyfriend at the time parked his SUV in the back of our local movie theater parking lot. Seemed ideal, since no one would question a car being parked there for a while late at night. As we started getting busy in the back we noticed a car pull up and park a few spots away from us. We thought it was weird and just watched this car for a few minutes. At first no one got out, but after a bit a man stepped out of the car and started shining a flashlight in our direction, and it looked like he was holding a gun or a knife in the other hand. We ducked down to the floorboards, starting to panic. I started freaking out and scream-whispering at my boyfriend that we had to leave, but he didn’t have a shirt on and I was basically naked. As we contemplated how to get out of this situation, the man started slowly walking toward our car! At that point, I screamed, and my boyfriend jumped into the front seat, started the car, and sped out of the parking lot, leaving me literally rolling around on the floor of the backseat naked. After we drove a few miles away, we stopped and got dressed and shared some nervous laughter about the whole thing, and no harm was done other than a few bruises I sustained in our daring escape. I’m still good friends with this guy and we still laugh about the time we thought we were about to be the victims in a real-life slasher film.” —Sarah, 23

5.

“My boyfriend and I were at the park getting it on in the backseat of a car when we were suddenly blinded by a cop’s flashlight shining right on us from the other side of the window. Fortunately, he was nice enough to give us a warning. Unfortunately, he made my boyfriend get out of the car and fetch the condoms we threw out the window.” —Logan

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6.

“When I was a senior in high school, I used to sneak out at night in the summer to meet up with a guy who lived across town and we would meet in a park that was halfway between us. This time, we were having sex outside and suddenly a bright light illuminated us. The police were searching the park for a presumably homeless man who had been reported as dangerous and living in the park. Of course, I was in no position to be seen by anyone, let alone police officers, so I had to scramble to get re-dressed. Once I did, I realized the police officer was my former softball coach (the perks of living in a small town). Because we had walked there and lived up what was deemed to be a “dangerous” road, he also drove us home in his police car at 3 a.m. Needless to say, I haven’t had sex in public since.” —Anna, 20

7.

“Me and my ex were sitting in the car waiting to pick up my friend outside and we both just somehow decided to get it on in the front seat of his car (and his car windows are not tinted at all). After about, like, five minutes into the action, a whole crowd of people on bikes came riding by. They didn’t just keep riding though; they actually slowed down, and yelled at the riders behind them to slow down and also take a look at what we were doing. I was so into it that I couldn’t decide whether to stop or to keep going. I kept going because I figured I wasn’t ever going to see these people again, but that was false. It turns out the leader of the bicycle pack was my multicultural education teacher that same semester. Let’s just say I sat in the back the rest of the semester! Still to this day, I don’t know if he recognized me or not.” —Hannah, 21

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8.

“I went the movies with my boyfriend at the time. Being the horny couple that we were, we both thought it would be super hot to get it on in the theater! We selected our seats carefully, so we could both have a good view of the film while keeping our eyes on the doors. It was one of the most unforgettably sexy experiences of my life. When it was all over, we sat and watched the rest of the film, but as the credits rolled, I went to gather my coat and scarf and noticed a couple was sitting behind us, a few rows up! They had a perfect view of our antics! Neither of us had seen them come in (like I said, it was pretty hot and heavy), but we were mortified and ran out, laughing hysterically.” —Nicole, 45

9.

“I have hooked up in public a lot. Sometimes, it’s the only option! When I was studying abroad in Paris, a friend from home came to visit for a weekend and we made out in public everywhere. We couldn’t hook up in my dorm or his hostel, so we just settled on someone’s rose garden around the corner. Halfway through, a stranger approached and we immediately got off and acted like we were just hanging out, terrified it was the owner of the garden. The man asked us if he could join us, which we had to decline, but he still didn’t leave, so we had to change locations. We ended up just doing it against the wall of Le Bon Marché, which was way more public, but at least no one asked to join in!” —Ella, 24

10.

them!” “I was having sex in the back of a Lord & Taylor parking lot at roughly midnight (which was bad enough), but then a car came flying across the parking lot and screeched to a halt in front of a group of teenagers and immediately started handing out what looked like little baggies of drugs to them! Eventually the car left (thank god) and we relaxed a little bit. That ease was short-lived because I guess they told their friends that the drugs had been acquired, because three jacked-up pick-up trucks came plowing into the parking lot. Soon the number of youths tripled, and it was very clear they were smoking weed, among other things. We quit eventually because it suddenly felt like we were on set for a bust on Beyond Scared Straight.”—CeeCee, 20

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11.

“I was in a summer fling with this guy and his family had an amazing lake house that he invited me up to so I could officially meet his entire extended family. We settled into our room after everyone else went to bed and decided it would be fun to go hot-tubbing and swim in the lake after dark. After hot-tubbing and a few glasses of wine, I just jumped on him at the dock and we started having sex. We were in the middle of getting it on, totally naked, when I hear a motor approaching and someone say his name from lake. His family pulled up in their boat right as we were getting to the good stuff. My reaction? Jump into the lake (which was freezing by the way) totally naked and just bob and wave to them. He had the good sense to grab a towel and just kind of own it. It was an interesting introduction to say the least.” —Kendra, 25

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