In early September, a TikToker named Susi opened a video with, “Call me crazy if you want, but I’ve never liked store-bought pesto,” and the entirety of TikTok took that as a challenge. Quickly, the app was flooded with stitches of people sharing stories of times they were legitimately crazy, and not just “hating store-bought pesto” crazy.
One such example is a story from Linda Solley Hurd that proves that revenge is a dish best served cold. When she was in college 15 years ago, Hurd went to a comedy show with some of her friends, and a friend accidentally knocked her chair into the guy behind her, causing him to spill his drink on himself. His response was pretty disproportionate for a simple mistake, calling her a stupid fat bitch and spitting on her. Hurd then got into a screaming match with the guy, and he called her an ugly bitch as well — he obviously isn’t particularly creative with his insults.
Not a fan of her and her friend being called bitches, Hurd found the guy on Facebook the next day, where she discovered that he was a fan of shows like The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad (you can tell this took place in the early 2010s). Next, Hurd went searching for spoilers across the internet, which she sent to the guy from dummy Facebook accounts every week, making a new one every time he would block her. After a couple of months, though, she got over the grudge and stopped sending spoilers.
The next semester, however, she ended up having a class with him, where she learned that he loved playing devil’s advocate for every terrible opinion under the sun. One day while he was preparing to give a presentation, Hurd saw a username in the corner of his screen; she later found a Reddit account with the same username. This allowed her to rediscover his interests after he stopped sharing them to Facebook and Twitter, which in turn allowed her to start spoiling things for him once more. Again, eventually, she moved on, and didn’t think about him for a very long time.
Eight years later, however, Hurd saw that a friend of a friend had gotten engaged to this man, prompting her to check his Reddit account and see what he’s been up to. There, she discovered that he’d been posting sinister things that she felt his partner would want to know, so she contacted the fianceé and told her to look at his posts. What she saw must have disturbed her, because she broke off the engagement. Dumped right before his wedding, all because he spat on a girl eight years ago and called two women bitches. Oops!
Commenters were impressed by Hurd’s dedication to ruining this man’s life. “Susi may not eat store-bought pesto but you ATE that man’s existence,” one marveled. “Your pettiness ended up saving that girl and I applaud you for that,” another added.
Not necessarily the hero we needed, but definitely the hero we deserve.
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