This, I can say with absolute certainty: No man has ever continued shooting his shot like the guy in a recent video posted by Twitter user @PicturesFolder.
In the video, a man approaches two women with a microphone, apparently to ask them if they like bodybuilders. He is followed by someone who appears to be, well, a bodybuilder. “I like skinny, scrawny guys,” one of the women replies.
why did he say all that ?? pic.twitter.com/CFlTyFkCn1
— non aesthetic things (@PicturesFoIder) July 30, 2023
Big mistake.
Beginning a rant that could only be accompanied by the most intricate of Midwest emo riffs, the muscular man unleashes a tirade that goes in directions you would never expect.
“How about multimillionaires?” he starts.
Okay, not great, but not too bad so far.
“How about 8 inches, and thick?”
Okay, we’ve lost our way a bit here. Let’s pivot.
“How about talented? How about loving and respectful?”
Solid! Let’s get more of that.
“I lost my wife 10 weeks ago. Twenty-one years faithful.”
I, uh — dude, I’m so sorry, but maybe now’s not the time?
“My daughter committed suicide three weeks ago. Thirteen. She was faster than me at 12, and I run a 6-minute mile.”
Jesus, man. It hasn’t been your year. But let’s remember that you’re shirtless and trying to flirt with a girl on the beach right now.
“My testimony? I’m nothing but pure, and I asked you if you want to be in a YouTube channel. And you like scrawny guys.”
That’s… you know what, you tried. C for effort.
In response, the other girl in the video offered the only appropriate thing to say in such a situation: “Why did he trauma dump on us like that? Damn!”
Damn is certainly correct.
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