People really need to calm down about A.I. Yes, it was cool when it started making almost-readable texts, and yes, it was pretty neat to see those photo-like A.I. images until you noticed they all had 20 or so fingers. But now that we’ve had consumer-accessible A.I. for over a year, it’s becoming clear that much of A.I.’s esteem is nothing more than hype.


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Try telling that to the internet’s biggest nerds, though. Instead of seeing the A.I. wave as already crested, they think that, with A.I., anything will be possible. In fact, you won’t even need to drink booze anymore!



In this post from a dweeb named Jonathan Ross, who says he is the CEO and founder of a company called “Groq,” Ross muses that A.I. may get rid of the need for alcohol.


“Just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie Roxanne, people will use A.I. powered earbuds to help them socialize. At first we’ll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol,” he wrote.


No one is sure what the fuck he meant by this. Is this suggesting that a lull in conversation will instead be filled by an earpiece telling you to ask a stranger their favorite color? More importantly, does Ross understand why people go to bars and drink in the first place?





Ross eventually began responding to these posts, claiming that people were coming after him for suggesting that A.I. will replace their favorite beer. For clarity, it’s less that people are worried about their beers, and more that they’re coming after you for the rank stupidity you just displayed on your timeline. Glad I could help you sort that out!



Personally, I’m sick of being told how we’re going to socialize in the future by people who have no idea what “socializing” actually is. Real friends don’t need ChatGPT to give them conversation points when they hang out — unbelievably, normal people can just talk to each other.


If you want to have an A.I. earbud whispering shit to you while you’re at the bar, go ahead. I’ll be on the other side of the bar actually talking to people. Also, drinking.