It’s a tale as old as time — you’re out and about when suddenly, you spy a snake committing a robbery, a homicide or in the case of Rick and Morty’s Snake Hitler, a whole ass genocide. Yet, right as you’re about to arrest the offending python perp, taking them to serpent jail for their crimes against humanity and snake-manity, a terrible dilemma arises: How the fuck do you handcuff a snake?
This quandary emerged as Twitter’s latest debate earlier in the week, thanks to artist Alex Krokus, whose recent comic about a snake comedian — aka Comedy Snake — who was arrested for strangulation after joking about doing so in a stand-up (slither up?) set made the rounds on Twitter.
i think i can speak for everyone when i say that none of us could have foreseen Comedy Snake doing something like this... pic.twitter.com/ccbfzfrfMH
— alex krokus (@alexkrokus) April 12, 2023
Beyond musing on how Comedy Snake could have possibly committed such a heinous act, another question emerged throughout the piece’s replies — how, exactly, does one take a snake into custody?
how do you handcuff a snake?
— J-Raff Comics (@jraffcomics) April 12, 2023
The answer? Aside from the Snake Grabber Thingy (the tool’s very technical name we definitely didn’t just make up) often used by Animal Control personnel and Hollywood’s several iterations on the topic, several Twitter users shared their suggestions on the matter.
It's funny cause this is how they cuffed Viper in Kung Fu Panda 2 https://t.co/aW3JURUrAZ pic.twitter.com/eUQCTT7pIY
— Trevie (@Trvagnldo) April 13, 2023
you just put them in a cloth bag and tie it closed.
— Iris ???? (@LizarddFish) April 13, 2023
I'm not joking this is genuinely how snakes are transported. https://t.co/hJoCcYl8gh
You tie him like a knot
— Nono (@BeannieBoi) April 12, 2023
Amid the debate, Krokus took to the platform to show exactly how the authorities in his fictitious universe dealt with the snake, scowl and all — folding him in half.
https://t.co/Bh2lMoaM8d pic.twitter.com/W53p1b0B15
— alex krokus (@alexkrokus) April 12, 2023
Regardless of what method you opt to put a wily snake under arrest, as @TPGRoberts astutely pointed out, one thing is absolutely certain — it requires the utmost care. Because while you might be able to sentence a snake to prison, its unwavering hold can sentence you to death.
Carefully https://t.co/c4eaXKHpWh
— Tom (@TPGRoberts) April 13, 2023
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