Would you pay millions of dollars for a cow? Personally, I wouldn’t, no matter how hot the cow was.


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However, I appear to be alone in not wanting to shell out millions on top-tier steer. Last year, thieves made off with several tanks of bull semen with the suspected assumption that they could flip the spunk for thousands (people buy it, what can I say). In previous years, cows have also sold for incredible sums. Back in 2009, a cow named Missy went for around $1.2 million, and since then, the total prices of cow sales have skyrocketed. Who wouldn’t want to invest?


Well, if you want to get in the cow buying game, you’ve gotta have some considerable cash. For example, a cow was recently sold in Brazil for over $4 million.



According to Guinness World Records, this sale was made last year, though it’s still not quite certain why this one cow brought in so much dough.


The breed has a lot going for it, notes the article: “Their distinctive features include bright white fur, loose skin and a prominent bulbous hump above their shoulders. The Nelore breed is renowned for its remarkable heat tolerance, a characteristic mainly attributed to their fur, which effectively reflects a wide range of light wavelengths, as well as their unique sweat glands.”



The article further states that the cow “is already ranked among the best Nelore cows in history” and that “the price paid for this exceptional animal not only makes a statement about the breed’s quality within the country but also reverberates across the global cattle market, solidifying the Nelore’s reputation as a valuable and sought-after breed worldwide.” Okay buddy, I’ll just take your word for it.



According to X/Twitter users, however, this whole thing is a crock of shit. Many said the cow looked bad, while others claimed it looked like several kids in a costume. Still more wrote that, while the cow may be real, it certainly isn’t worth over $4 million.



I’m not going to be judgmental here — if you want to spend a McMansion’s worth of moolah on a single cow, be my guest — but I think there are probably better ways to spend your money.