The day is almost here. What day, you ask? The day we’ll be able to get down and dirty with our Roombas, of course!


Advertisement

For as long as robots have been theorized, people have debated what it would be like to bang one of them. While this has been a staple of fiction for quite some time, people keep insisting that the day when this will be a reality — the day when every home will have a dick-sucking robot in the closet next to their vacuum and mop — is just around the corner.


Take, for example, this 2015 article from The Sun, which made the bold claim that we’d be having sex with robots in the next 10 years.



Wait a minute… Ten years… 2015… We should be porkin’ the metal beasts any day now!


Seeing this old headline, someone on X/Twitter (incorrectly) did the math and gave users a warning: Say goodbye to your girlfriends, because in just a few months, you’ll be getting it on with your Cuisinart.



Sure, we really have a year and nine months left. But that shouldn’t stop people from being excited/terrified by the prospect of having your dick bitten off by the Honda Asimo — and given other developments in potentially sex-related robot tech, I see no reason to not get pumped about our new possible robo-brides.



However, if I’m honest, I can’t see anybody really getting into robot sex, at least not anytime soon. If you think having a friend find your fleshlight is embarrassing, imagine them coming across your fully-articulated, A.I.-powered Kendra Sunderland doll. For now, we’ll just stick with the good ol’ fashioned goon cave.