Over the past several weeks, several down-horrendous millennial Harry Potter fans have taken their adoration for their favorite Hogwarts professor to the next level, creating a series of horny smut, imagining what it’d be like to land a seat in Snape’s potions class …. while getting a faceful (and other-orifice-full) of his wand.  


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Primarily stemming from TikToker @millieakamrsmalfoy — a name that evokes flashbacks of horny middle school AIM accounts — the viral portrayals of life as one of Snape’s students are fairly simple — one defined by a brief moment of moral contemplation before offering detention hand jobs, grade bribing hand jobs and probably a lot more jobs that are NSF TikTok.





While @millieakamrsmalfoy’s absurdly smutty, sticky sound effect-fueled videos have respectively garnered mixed reviews on TikTok and horror on Twitter, where screenshots of her clips have gone viral, it seems the love for Snape isn’t entirely new.


Before these horny POVs (that don’t really understand what the term POV means) could run, Snapewives  — a.k.a. A cult of women convinced they were all married to Snape on the astral realm —  dredged through the trenches of Y2K internet smut.



Defined as “A group of middle-aged women on the internet who believe they are all married to Severus Snape from the Harry Potter books—on the astral plane” according to the overlords Urban Dictionary, Snapists, as they were also called, took their devotion to the character offline, hosting meetups and wedding ceremonies, a practice that arguably placed it in religious territory, per a 2014 study.



“The Snapewives' or Snapists' are women who channel Snape, are engaged in romantic relationships with him, and see him as a vital guide for their daily lives,” wrote the University of Sydney’s  Zoe Alderton in her paper “Snapewives’ and ‘Snapeism’: A Fiction-Based Religion within the Harry Potter Fandom.”


“In this context, Snape is viewed as more than a mere fictional creation,” she continued, describing how Snape “is seen as a being that extends beyond the Harry Potter texts with Rowling perceived as a flawed interpreter of his supra-textual essence.” Hot.


Is there a spell to cure unhinged horniness and/or cult mentality? Asking for a friend … and all of Scientology.