Despite finding its origins nearly two decades ago, Rule 34 — the old internet adage that “If it exists, there is porn of it” — is still very much applicable, a lesson the fine people r/AskReddit recently learned the hard way.
On Monday, February 27, Redditor u/Twisty-pretzels took to the subreddit with a bold inquiry — one so bold it yanked open Pandora’s (animated hentai) box.
“Rule 34 states that if it exists, there is porn of it, no exceptions,” they wrote in a post that has since garnered more than 7,500 upvotes. “What are you pretty sure is an exception?” Unlike most r/AskReddit posts, the answer to u/Twisty-pretzels’ question was simple — pretty much nothing.
While there were a handful of exceptions to the rule — “Ah I played this game and apparently the answer is shopping carts,” wrote u/America_the_Horrific, nothing that they could not find a single image, "anthropomorphized or not,” it seems even the few outliers, which also included “The 1995 Jacksonville Jaguars” and “slow wifi” weren’t outliers for long.
Enter Rule 35: “If there is no porn, it will be made.” As several Redditors noted, even speaking of a (seemingly) porn-less topic will make it a prime candidate for porn, even if no one is actually jerking off to it.
“Nice try, you aren't going to bait me into fulfilling Rule 35,” wrote u/SerqetCity, a sentiment u/nails_for_breakfast reiterated, noting that “sometimes the only way to win is to not play.”
Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be busy drawing pictures of the 1995 Jacksonville Jaguars returning their shopping carts into crammed cart corral.
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