Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump recently met in Alaska. While the Russian leader made several stops on his trip to the U.S., he didn’t make any to the bathroom — because his bodyguards won’t let him defecate into an American toilet.

In 2022, a group of investigative journalists alleged that Russia’s Federal Protection Service collects Putin’s bodily waste during foreign trips, storing his urine and feces in a special briefcase to prevent others from obtaining information about his health.

This actually makes a weird sort of sense, as rumors about Putin’s ill health have been swirling for years, and leaving any excrement that can be tested would allow any opposing nation to score some propaganda points by discovering he has, I don’t know, mumps or something.

Still, if your job involves you dropping the kids off not at the pool, but in a briefcase, you might want to consider a career change.