Around 95 percent of the ocean is unexplored. That means that there are likely millions of fish out there that we have no idea actually exist. But is one of those fish a mermaid? Some people in Papua New Guinea certainly seem to think so.


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Back in September, residents of Simberi Island in Papua New Guinea discovered a big, white… thing on the beach. The thing resembled a massive fish, sort of — it had a tail like a whale but a thin, narrow top. Wait a minute… Big tail, thin top — fellas, I think we’ve got a mermaid on our hands!



Of course, lame-o “scientists” were quick to jump down the throats of anyone who claimed the creature was a mermaid. No, they said, it was not a mermaid, but a “globster.” Gross.


Per Live Science, a “globster” is “an unidentified organic mass that washes ashore.” In this case, the globster just happened to resemble a mermaid — or is that just what they want us to think?



Some of the scientists interviewed for the Live Science piece say that the object was either a decomposing marine mammal (more specifically, a cetacean) or a “dugong.” Another scientist interviewed for The Messenger claimed that it could be a shark. Then again, my neighbor Ricky who spends his days spitting dip on his front porch says he’s sure it’s a mermaid. I guess we’ll say that opinion on the issue is divided.


Sadly, we may never know the truth about what exactly this creature was. “There is no information on the size and weight of the corpse because it was not properly measured before locals buried it, NIO representatives told Live Science,” writes author Harry Baker. “And no one collected DNA samples, which makes a proper identification almost impossible.”


But who knows? Maybe someday someone will dig it up and test whatever’s left. Let’s just hope they don’t do unspeakable things to it first.